demetrius.

2011-06-28T23:47:00.000-07:00

three hours left till training,

so here I am in the Attic doing dumb questionaires.

(this photo answers question 18 :D)

The person I like and why I like them - No one right now?
A famous person I've been compared to - Never really been compared to famous peeps.
5 things that irritate me about the same/opposite sex - Lack of fashion sense, extreme chauvinistic machoism and judgmental behavior [male], clique jumping and backstabbing that actually hurts [girls]
The best thing that has happened to me this week - securing the last black Magnum senior shirt (and I'm a junior)
Weird things I do when I'm alone - what every other guys does when they're alone (nah I keeedd)
How I'd spend ten thousand bucks - this is a legitimate question. My grandfather gave me this exact same sum before (cause he's nice like that) and I wasted it on electronics. I figure now that I'm older (and generally supposedly wiser) I would spend it on my education, a bit to re-do my room, a lot on new clothes, and save the last tiny fraction of moolah.
Things I like and things I don't like about the way I look - I like my eyes, but I don't like my nose, height and my arse.
My last night out in detail - Awesome fish head curry for dinner followed by a chilling session at a bar near my house with my classmates
Something that makes me sad when I think about it - How I've never successfully made it pass any of my national exams. I've done well, but not up to my own standard that I expected for myself, I feel like I've always disappointed my family.
Something I've lied about - my heritage. I am mixed, but I like to change my race every time I meet someone new just to see what I can pull off. Now its up to you folks to figure out my true mix :)
Would I rather be stranded on a desert island with someone I love for ten years or someone I hate for a month? Explain why - someone I hate, cause then I could pretty much screw them as much as I want for a month.
Something Im currently worrying about - my education. I'm in the final weeks of my first semester in my diploma and I don't even know what my assignments are.
One person from Tumblr I'd throw off a cliff, one I'd marry and one I'd fuck - not answering this, I dunno people on Tumblr and its a tad bit crude.
Something I do without realizing - according to my classmates, I moan and grunt a lot in class.
Lyrics that apply to my current situation/mood - Marry The Night by Lady Gaga. I want the most out of life, I'm gonna leave "nothing on the streets to explore".
A drunken story - none, I don't actually like drinking. Beer tastes horrendous, like shit that comes out after I've had tandoori buffets.
Something I regret - not taking chances I should have.
Post a picture of myself
My longest relationship and who it was with - never been in one.
5 things I want to change - my streak of bad hair, my diet, my unhealthy lifestyle (lack of exercise), my inability to save money, and my reputation/stigma everyone has placed on me. Time to prove all of you douches wrong.
Someone I'd like to be for a day and why - My grandfather. Raised in poverty, he earned in place in the top school in Singapore and went on to work in the government, raising the fortune he has now. Its not about the wealth, its about the stability he forged for himself, coming from nothing. His hardworking ethics can be seen in my aunt as well, who's such an inspiration for me since I was young.
5 things within touching distance - water bottle, my phone, Cherisse's phone, my bag, Becky's laptop.
Story of my first kiss - A simple game of truth or dare. And that was it.
An embarrassing/socially awkward situation I've found myself in - Raising my hand in front of my entire lecture hall to reclaim a phone that the lecturer found on the floor only to realize it wasn't mine!
Something I'm not proud of - who I am. Many people think I'm some nice quiet loud happy-go-lucky guy, but people, that's just me being nice.

2011-06-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

I know I said I won't post anymore.

but I'm really really happy :)

Camp was fantastic, routine was awesome and all stunts went up.

I was really sad that I had to leave early on the last day, reading what everyone wrote to me in the reflection made me wanna cry in the cab. Then I saw what Gabriel wrote on my wall,

and I really felt speechless.

Amidst all the other bullshit in school, I'm really so glad I found Magnum.

I've found family.

2011-05-31T06:27:00.000-07:00

haven't really been updating recently.

I've been up to my corneas in work recently, but that's made me realize something. All this time, during the holidays, I've let myself go. When the workload came, I was overwhelmed, and felt the need, the obligation, to step back and re-evaluate myself.

The big picture isn't very pretty. I've let myself go, this isn't who I am, its most definitely not who I wanna be. People perceive me differently from what I want them to see, but its not about gaining acceptance, its about being who I want to be. And by losing myself, I've gained such a reputation, such a facade, of exactly who I should not be.

I still have so many things I want to do in life, and getting there requires effort. I realized that reading something today, everything in life needs that. Success needs effort, progress needs effort, true friendship requires effort.

and amidst all the work and hate, I simply don't have the time, and I don't give two fucks about this blog anymore. I have a tumblr, but that's for killing time in meaningless lectures. otherwise, I'm leaving my sorrows to the spirits in the wind, forever silent yet forever free.

I will however, keep another private blog. Everyone needs to escape, everyone needs to breathe fresh air. It will be my own personal tropical forest, my own sunbathed island beach, my own private treehouse, a place where I can release all my sorrows to be left to the mercy of the violent winds.

those who truly are close to me may ask, and gain access to that blog.

if not, this is our last goodbye blogger, you've kept me hooked by chains creating facades for way too long. All the happy posts, they just hide a body filled with misery.

and that's not what I want.

2011-05-28T06:33:00.000-07:00

I hardly ever get to talk to you guys, but that does mean I've forgotten you.

For that short period of time, all of you inspired me so much, what you stood for, what you did with your lives, and what you achieved. Looking back, I must have been the most doe-eyed innocent little kid in your presence, never knowing what to say or do. For once I felt nervous and insecure, because for once I finally met people that represented who I wanted to be in life.

Yes I have friends who make me happy, and friends who fill me with joy, but for once I want to feel what its like to be motivated again. I sat there while you spoke, and it took all that I had to stop the barrage of tears that was threatening to flow with the force of a tsunami. You reminded me of what I always wanted to do with my life, and every time I spot pictures with all of you, I'm reminded of the one true time I failed myself.

So now I make do with what I have. I rush assignments, secure internships, and bloody hell make sure I ace my academics this next three years. Some of you may be reading this, some of you may not, but one day when I've happy with where I am, I'll probably write this all over again and mail to all you one by one, simply because you deserve to know that you made a difference in someone's life.

2011-05-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

It's just cartwheels, but ask anyone who has seen me today and you would know it put a spring in my step. My ankle cracks in class, my wrists have slightly poppy veins, but that doesn't matter cause I'm happy with myself. The feeling of pushing yourself, there's none like it.

there's no better feeling than being a better you.

Out of all my assignments, I seem to be completing LocVid first. I finished one assignment last night in a flash, and the second today while I was in the 53Attic. There's a really funny story about the room where this picture was taken, having been retrofitted with one way windows to block sunlight. Spontaneity led us to pranking a group of girls by calling their name and laughing hysterically. Their faces and reactions were priceless, but so was the joy we felt in the midst of a full academic day.

2011-05-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

handstands, handstand-splits, front and back rolls, cartwheels, roundoffs.

what more can I ask for? :)

2011-05-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

stretching in Magnum and the mental exhaustion is honestly everything I could ask for, but I still feel like something's missing. I need to dance again, to feel the thrill of being on stage, hitting moves on the beat. Watching sytycd and Fame doesn't help, but oh well.

Maybe with Magnum's physical conditioning, I can pick up contemporary dance on Thursday nights again. It would be the perfect mix.

2011-05-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

so the past few days have been awkward. I'm used to my condo being quiet and empty cause its pretty much only my granny and I but I'm so used to more people here at my folks place cause my siblings and I grew up here together. Now, my brother is in the army and my sister is overseas. On top of that she doesn't stay with us anymore, having come of age, so its pretty much only me and my folks who keep to themselves.

the best classmates anyone could ask for, like seriously. Today when we were getting slightly bored in the Radio Heatwave event we all came to the conclusion that Ashley could single-handedly make the whole auditorium laugh just by being her, cause she is frikkin' hilarious. Seriously, don't put two IJ girls next to each other, because Tabby and Ashley scream like mothermonkeys. #seewhatididthereididntcurse

The only downside so far is that everyone thinks I'm a bimbo. Every time there's a presentation in Medsoc no one listens to my speech cause they all make it seem like I'm high on crack or something and sprouting nonsense. It's really damn annoying when no one believes you, coming from a position back in neighbourhood school where if we shared information we believe it and not belittle the speaker. Like Tiara said, we were all the overachievers in our own schools, and now its hard to do that here again because we're all the same kind of person.

Sometimes you feel like you're not worth it, and I've dealt with that a lot, but I'm slowly trying to get over it. I mean, (as polite and humble as I can be) I freaking got into Stage52! Which is damn hard with like over a hundred people applying and I'm one of the twenty freshmen accepted. So I've got to accept myself for who I am, and work my ass off to get me to where I wanna be.

and that is a photo of me working my ass off to get to who I wanna be, physically.

yea, Magnum's physical training might be tough, and I may be in the two most rigorous clubs in the school, but guess what. I'm gonna work damn hard to keep up with both and maintain my studies as well. I already got an awesome class and awesome LocVid group,

what else can I ask for?

2011-05-10T04:35:00.000-07:00

that badass rollercoaster is what my kickass group made during our interdisciplinary module on Monday. Everyone else made straight rollercoasters and all that kind of boring shit, but nahhhh we had the 360 degree turn as well. Dance sport was okay, got partnered with Naomi *cue all the moaning* which was pretty hilarious. Lunch after, then dragged Portia to Magnum training.

Magnum was exceptionally tiring yesterday, we had punishment for not screaming loud enough by having a campus run which was damn far. Stunting was slightly harder cause they made junior boys constantly be base and I was slowly breaking down, think the coaches could tell. Terribly demoralized during shoulder sit cause I couldn't lift the girls high enough, but was slightly more satisfied when I could do a handstand. Cartwheel was horrendous cause I simply collapsed.

Then came the disaster.

While doing a handstand, I slipped and fell on my back, but the worst part was I twisted and landed on my ankle. And now I can't walk properly, much less attend practice. But I prolly will keep attending, just to stretch and shit.

But its all good, cause I have vagina bunny to comfort me :)

(ashley and I made this mascot for the class at build-a-bear workshop, everytime you press the crotch this Far East Movement song plays :D)

2011-05-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

its still very surreal that school has started. Its been a few weeks but without the assignments and the tests I haven't had any real sense of urgency. School timetable is staggered, meaning I still sleep in on most days, but on the bright side my sleeping patterns have reached an obscure level of normalcy. I've managed to sleep by 2am the past few days as opposed to 6am thanks to hectic school life.

I walked into mediainsociety today only to read on the board that we were having a quiz. I freaked and then realized I was utterly hopeless since my notes were online and my laptop was spoilt. Thank god Atika lent me her notes for like five minutes, and I swear my brain finally turned on after seven months. So much hard work for something that turned out to be a game quiz to start off the lesson. #cuehandraisingandsweets

I was extremely dead in school, mostly on the account that I was worried for Pancakes who's sick. He's better now, but it was a bit unsettling to leave him alone at home. I cleared his cage and fed him before leaving just to make sure.

okay my brother is being a total asstard reading every word I type aloud behind me so I shall end abruptly here. Something tells me I won't be so sad when he enlists next week.

2011-05-04T12:34:00.000-07:00

Today was the day of accomplishments.

1. I didn't crash my sister's queen bed last night. Normally I sleep in her room since she doesn't stay with us, but since she came back while my parents are overseas, I had to move back to my room! Surprisingly, I survived a night without air-conditioning.

2. I got another Straits Times internship! It kinda really fell into my lap, but they contacted me because I worked there before and they were reaching out to the ex-student interns. Its somewhat a combination of my two favourite things, overseas trips and working. Basically I'm flying with a few other students to Jakarta for a week.

There's something about flying overseas with the country's biggest newspaper that makes me feel accomplished coming into my third week of my Mass Comm diploma. Normally students get internship during long semester breaks courtesy of school liasons, but I got my own internship that starts right smack in the middle of our first short term break! Literally I gave up my holidays, but its worth it. It makes me feel happy in my course, like I'm going places.

3. magnum force
Honestly, there is something about this squad that makes me feel good about myself every practice. I've actually started watching what I eat which is shocking for someone like me, only because our squad president simply mentioned nonchalantly that all freshmen needed to watch out weight. The hardcore stretching, even worse than my old trainings, electrifies me.

Today whilst stretching in a right split position, I got partnered with the captain, and he literally lifted up my back leg and pulled it to touch my head. I was simply ecstatic realizing that I could do that. Same with the lifting of girls today. Who would have thought a tiny thing like me could lift girls to stand on my shoulders and stunt?

And of course, the funny moments.
eg While stunting/flying the coach asked me to smile before dropping from the platform so my group could practice craddle catches. I was so caught up with smiling that instead of falling backwards, I accidentally leaped backwards off the platform. Let's just say everyone freaked :P

Anyway, now I'm crashing with my class at Denise's and we watched two movies, including Quarantine. Now playing Rock Band before going out for Jalan Kayu prata later.
(god I can't eat ghee right after practice, feeling extremely guilty now.)

2011-05-03T09:13:00.000-07:00

school is definitely becoming extremely hectic. I'm slowly becoming more and more exasperated about waiting for my Macbook to arrive, but its out of my hands so I can't do anything. Sitting in lectures with nothing to do is frustrating, and today my Acer laptop of three years died on me. The keypad no longer works :(

Lecturers have begun to hand out our assignments, meaning I have started running around campus for different tutorial group meetings. FMS Attic today for LocVid group and I had to message my IS group since I haven't met them. Really sad that I missed out on a scholarship opportunity cause I didn't check my NP email, but anyway I still have to confirm my Mendaki.

Today for lunch we ate at the Alumni Clubhouse in Ngee Ann instead of the normal canteen. The tranquility and lack of sweaty loud swearing crowds made up for horrendous service and even worse food. Tabby's food only arrived after everyone else had finished eating because the counter mistook her order and cooked something else before we clarified.

A lot of things tomorrow, bank in the morning to complete my enrollment. Classes in the afternoon (without a Macbook again -.-), Magnum training after and stayover at Denise's. We'll be walking to the reputable Jalan Kayu prata stores. The next day Way-J and I have to rush to school before nine am for Loc Vid, in which I've teamed up with Portia :)

Bye peeps, my siblings wanna watch a movie on this lappy so I gotta go.

2011-05-01T09:56:00.001-07:00

Quick post! I kinda stole my brother's laptop while he went to the washroom

and now he's on my case!

Apparently its May Day or Labour Day or whatever you call it, but what it means is that basically town will be filled with throngs of people that came out of thin air. It also means that I have no school tomorrow, which also means I have no Magnum training which makes me a sad sad person. Call me over-enthusiastic but I really like having something on my calendar rather than being bored the whole day. You would think that in my long holiday I would have completed my bucket list of books to read, movies to watch and places to go, but nope I didn't.

My brain was still re-cooperating from over-working itself at my O levels, thus making me incapable of reading more than two sentences. I didn't know how to torrent any movies and my utter lack of drive to work made me penniless and thus unable to island-hop around our tropical disaster.

I have plans for tomorrow anyway, and they jolly well be loads of fun. I went shopping with Cher the other day planning only to spend a certain amount but I didn't realize my folks actually put in more! So I could have gotten a lot of things that I wanted. Not really things, more like works of art.

One last thing, a quick overview of my opinion on the current election. I don't pick sides cause obviously I understand that at my age I may not have the ability to make the best decisions, but some people really need to shut up. I get throngs of people who shout with all the pride in the world about their blatant approval of the Opposition, while insulting the PAP and so on.

While I have nothing against the Opposition, I will however hold something against these trumpet blowers. All you ever talk about is how many people turned up at the rallies, and how terrible PAP is, but have any of you even tweeted or deliberated, contemplated the manifestos or plans that the Opposition has? I personally haven't heard any quotes about their plans in the news or the papers, but rather their complaints about the PAP's failure to hold up their promises.

And to all you spoilt brats that complain about our standard of living, claiming that the PAP is ridiculous and on some moral high horse, please get a load of yourself. You complain about transport? We have about the cleanest buses and trains, and quite frankly the most efficient I've ever seen! Our education is top-notch, and if any of you bothered to speak to children in other countries you would realize how educated we really are! (no offence to other countries of course)

Those of you who read these may think that I'm biased towards the current party.

But let's just put it this way, that I'm thankful for what I've been given, end of story.

2011-04-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

Classes have been interesting to say the least. Amusing might be a better descriptor. So far, lectures have proved to be highly unproductive as opposed to tutorials. On top of the fact that I don't have a Macbook in a Mac-driven course, I've also gotten the craziest (and awesomest) class ever. God better help me get my perfect 4.0 GPA.

Classes have been awesome, but Magnum has been even better. Trainings on Monday Wednesday and possibly Fridays in the future, with gym sessions led by seniors on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Seems like the perfect routine for an old dancer like me to get whipped back into shape, hehe. Got partnered with a ruthless senior during warm-ups and physical training, and thanks to that I managed to stretch my left leg like the old days!

Only two training sessions and already I feel the difference. Damn you May Day for taking away next Monday's practice, I need to get my back cracked again :)

2011-04-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=1920910378963&comments&set=t.1481058721&type=1

okay, that's like a link to the dance video.

I apologize for not updating recently, I've been up to my neck in my first week of school! I've been so glad to have a fantastic orientation group, and now I have a fantastic classmates too.

But I think that something which has been integral and has since embedded the FMS spirit in me so far is dance4fund. All the late nights we spent training (okay fine two nights), all the blood and sweat we put into it, all the heart.

And to be the year that failed to defend our champion status was really heart-breaking for me. As a freshman I really loved my faculty and all our slightly-promiscuous dance moves plus all our other antics. I wanted to bring back the glory again, but alas, we got second.

after some of the things I heard about the faculty that won, I hope they feel proud with what they did. especially that one girl who everyone paused for only to fall after doing one piroutte.

not gonna lie, I laughed backstage when she fell.

one piroutte only, wanna show off for what?

I'm so dead if they see this, but yeah whatever I'm allowed to bitch.

what about you, I don't see how one girl having a solo is part of a mass dance.

but that said, no hatred cause I loved my dance mates, I loved our dance, and I love my faculty.

watch out next year peeps, cause we FMS peeps are known for consistent perfection :)

box-ception.

2011-04-10T08:23:00.000-07:00

For the first time in at least ten years, I feel exceptionally broke.

Even in primary one, when a bowl of noodles was fifty cents, my folks would give me five bucks a day cause I was anorexic-looking. That was on top of the ten bucks that both my aunt and my granny would give me separately every week. I literally spent every recess at the bookstore rather than in the canteen. Unless I was buying Yakult toys.

With a week left till school starts, I decided to resume cleaning my room so I have desk space. My family nicknamed me tornado cause when I spring-clean, I really clean in every sense of the word. I do all the laundry in the house, mop, scrub the tiles, throw out the old papers, feed the rabbits, and wash the dishes. Bacteria is my weakness, my age-old enemy.

To aid me in organizing my things (and secretly his as well), my dad bought a truckload of empty novelty National Geographic boxes to store our stuff. Our endless supply of shoe boxes would have sufficed but I have to say the Nat Geo ones were interesting. There were boxes in boxes in boxes, it was like box-ception. Just look at the paperbag, and note that you can't see my lower half. To prove my point, my brother sat in the bag as well.

I'm utterly displeased with how I spent my holidays. Even if I didn't work (didn't work at all by the way), I would have liked to have spent my months slowly exploring our country. Just sitting at a beach reading novels on a slow tranquil weekday, or sipping iced tea while people watching at somewhere remotely interesting. I found this book at Kinokuniya, and its absolutely enthralling. I literally look at pictures of my own hometown and go, where on earth is that?

Maybe if I had bought this book five months ago when my holiday started I could have explored a different place everyday. But alas, school beckons, and so does the big booty beaches.

Right, X-Men? :)

2011-04-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

I know I've talked about how much I miss shit, but its pretty hard to forget your passion when it hits you every second of every day.

Sitting in a bus listening to music? Bam, you remember dance.

Walk pass a bar and hear music playing? Bam, wish you were dancing.

Lie in bed at night? Bam, you dream and wonder if you'll ever get to do what you love again.

So what do I do for the next three years?

Stage52 or Magnum Force?

be my own savior.

2011-04-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

(photo credit : Ben from Auckland)

I've watched An Education twice today, its absolutely mind-boggling and heart-wrenching. It makes you think so hard about what you want in life and how hard you're willing to work for it. Jenny was diligently doing essays and struggling with Latin much like how I struggled with Malay, yet she worked hard and was bound for Oxford.

Then came David who showed her the world. She got to watch musicals, go to bars, read books, hear good music, bid for paintings, actually go and see Paris. She wondered, what defined a person, the places they've been and things they've done or the degrees that they held? So Jenny left school only to realize it was the one thing that was holding her world together. She tried to crawl back, and even though she did, it was not an easy journey.

"I feel old, but not very wise." - Jenny Mellor (An Education)

So now as my school term begins in a week, am I truly prepared to sacrifice myself and work towards what I want? mensfashionweek showed me how it feels to be insignificant, and we all agreed success was not an option anymore, it was an obligation. But who decides what success is? All I can think about now is how much I've screwed up my life thus far.

what about you, my readers? what is success to you?

2011-04-07T00:59:00.000-07:00

Well, no photos so far, but I think this song is so kickass it makes up for it!

So I came back from FMS Freshman Camp, and it was fantastic. Like honestly, I was a bit sad that my shirt color was yellow when packing cause I didn't have any, but now I'm loud and proud to be an X-Man!!! Even prouder to be in STORM hehehe :D

I think that somehow our tribe was already gonna be the best cause we had the best elements. Avengers were really united and enthusiastic together, and I think that came from their cheers. They had really crude cheers like the money shot and the big booty bitches, but that was the fun part for them, they got to do it all together. Justice League, they were bonded together, they prolly weren't as loud as Avengers but they knew they could get through it.

But as for X-Men, our cheers were all PG rated but filled to the brim with diva attitude, all for people just looking to have a good time. STORM to me somehow felt like one of the better sub-tribes cause we dared to do things together, like how for the boxstep cheer we were the first to really grind together and had Sam breakdancing in front. We realized we had something special together and that helped us blaze through almost everything in the camp!

I'm still really sad that I missed out on the final day when X-Men won, but oh well, I still love my group. Hop night was fantastic, and hopefully its a preview of things to come.

DANCEFORFUN HERE WE COME!!!

2011-04-03T08:16:00.000-07:00

this is just begging to be used at the upcoming freshman dance party.

tomorrow, I begin my polytechnic education,

lets hope it will be one hell of a good rollercoaster ride.

senor santos.

2011-04-03T01:34:00.000-07:00

Namrata's party was wicked for a sweet sixteen. First off, it was held in a bar at Clarke Quay, and second, there was a wicked DJ. It was kinda sad that Chermaine and Marissa had to leave earlier, but whatever Colette and I became dance buddies after!

Like only the kids from Canadian International knew how to shuffle, it was so darn hilarious. At one point, everyone formed a big circle and this dude started bboying, everyone was just screaming. Nams wanted to take a split photo so Colette Nams and I did splits and somehow just ended up bouncing and headbanging while still in splits it was so hilarious!

Colette and I ended up chatting with this dude who were thought was like 20, who ended up being 15. Like seriously was damn shocking, we were like whutttttt.

I think they went to Zirca after, jealous much. This world is so unfair, like seriously.

anyway, watch out folks cause for our 18th, Chermaine Portia and I are combining!!!

MFW

2011-04-02T23:20:00.000-07:00

RAOUL finale walk.

let's play a round of spot the celebrity shall we?

Winston, Portia and I

Bryanboy!

Finally, I've attended my first fashion week, and gosh it was such an experience. I was overjoyed when I was there, it was more like a subtle realization that I was seated second row at a fashion show. Really have to thank Winston for bumping us up rows to VIP seats, with all the charity work he's doing for Japan and underprivileged kids in the heartlands he deserves truckloads of karma.

After our first show we were already so exhausted, and we weren't particularly ecstatic that we were there. Celebrities and fashion a-listers were appearing left right centre and all we could do was constantly jump out of their way when cameras started flashing. Standing there literally gave you this awkward sense of being a nobody, a pathetic block of fats standing in some paparazo's way.

At least some of the A-listers were nice. When I turned and bumped into Bobby Tonelli he winked at me! And when Bryanboy figured out it was my birthday, he strangled/hugged me. Eventually we left, and walked across the bridge to Ritz Carlton to catch a cab instead of queuing at the MBS monster cab line.

Picked up Cher and Marissa at ACJC, and headed to Holland Village for supper :)

alice.

2011-04-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

the ever fab Julia and Debbie

Tim as King of Hearts!

Iniki as Alice, another great performance!

So for the eve of my birthday Portia and I headed down to watch ACJC's production of Alice in Wonderland which was purely exceptional. The storyline was rather conceptual, but by doing that they enthralled the audience into paying attention and spotting landmark moments in the plot. Like how the entire first sequence where Alice falls down the hole, eats the cake and goes through the minuscule door became a dance. The costumes, handmade by students, were spectacular. The mannerisms, by the cards, or by Reuben and Brandon as the horses was so well-thought and executed.

Found myself smiling from eye to eye at the end. What a production! :D

time.

2011-03-29T09:28:00.000-07:00

if my birthdays have taught me anything, its that things change. Look at this gorgeous picture, taken by JG. I stayed/stay/stillstaying at the building all the way in the end of this picture, and every morning for my secondary school life, I loved walking out looking at this forest filled with beautiful fog.

About ten years ago, that plot of land was a bustling HDB estate with a market and food court. Then, they demolished it, and it became this while I was staying there. Now, they're selling off the plot of land for condominium projects :(

And things will probably change in my life as well. My goals in life, my perspective, and my opportunities. The most difficult part of it all is to adapt, but whether or not we are able to, life goes on. Time waits for no man, or as the novel suggest, time waits for no mouse.

2011-03-27T10:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, so my guesses were half-right! I guessed the correct hotel, cause my sister is somewhat predictable, teehee! But nonetheless, it was an awesome weekend, thanks to her, my brother, Desmond, and my cousin Zamzi!

So we headed off to Marina Bay Sands in separate cabs, my siblings went to prepare the room while mom and I went to pick up dad. From dad's hotel to MBS, my mom showed the cabbie a slip of paper and didn't say it out loud, but it was kinda obvious. Once you turn a certain corner there's no other hotel in the distance rather than MBS.

We were eating every hour, and for supper we headed to Ku De Ta, the restaurant at the very top on the Sky Park! I ate squid for the first time, so shocking, but my favourite part was the tentacles which was satisfyingly crunchy. My brother tricked me saying that I was eating milk chocolate, but it was really passionfruit.

It was such a fantastic ambience, so dark yet candlelit atop the towers, and it was honestly so windy. Even worse than when I was in Beijing for winter! The potted plants were bending all the way, and I was freezing. Me, the spoilt brat who slept with two aircons on, fell victim to the cold breeze and I now have the flu.

This guy literally put his glass down at his table by the edge, and the wind blew his glass right off the table! It shattered on the floor, and it was so hilarious. Anyway, after I checked into

Ku De Ta via foursquare, I got a tweet from someone saying "hello neighbour! :D"

How random was that? Anyway, we met the owner, and it was hilarious cause he asked us why we didn't wanna club!

Rest of the night was spent resting, and slowly my sister left for school and brother left for work. I walked around The Shoppes with the folks, but after a while, I wanted to swim! You can't go to MBS and not swim, its simply unacceptable with a pool that spectacular. It was hilarious cause the lifeguards were wearing polo tees and berms. Were they lifeguards or golf players? :D

Overall, it was an awesome family experience, its not so often you get all of us under one roof!

So it was really nice to celebrate both my dad and my birthdays as one big family.

now, I have Men's Fashion Week coming up in three days!!!

2011-03-25T00:15:00.000-07:00

god knows I miss dancing and theatre. part of me knows I might never get to do those two again since I'm pretty set on joining cheerleading in poly.

finally its Friday, we're gonna crash Benjamin's place tonight but first I gotta send some of the clothes for alteration before the big weekend tomorrow. I still dunno what my siblings have in store, but it seems pretty epic. I have ideas of what it might be, but I shan't get my hopes up too high! I can't wait for my birthday though. mensfashionweek hehehehe.

'Something Borrowed' Trailer 2

2011-03-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

I NEED TO WATCH THIS!

long days.

2011-03-24T03:57:00.001-07:00

yes I camwhored in the kitchen. cause real men can cook.

just look at Martin Yen.

I'm at Glendale today, took a bus ride here from Cashew in the afternoon to pick up a few things and relax. I'm supposed to pick up my beige trousers and Denizen jeans to be altered at the mall, but I'm too lazy to leave this airconditioned comfort. I tried calling Shawn cause I don't want to go to a heartland mall alone, I have no idea what I would do.

Whenever my friends are late to meet in town, I simply go and window shop. But what can I do in a heartland mall?

Look at detergents in the supermarket?

Anyway, I went for soccer practice yesterday, which was pretty hilarious for me. I dunno if any of them read my blog, but it was hilarious to see these boys, who are as straight as they come, gripe after 30 sit-ups. I bet they did a lot more in school during PE, so why the sudden change in fitness? I have this theory that everyone gets fat and unhealthy during the holidays, and I'm definitely guilty as charged.

But waking up this morning with minor aches, reminds me of the old days with training at West Coast. Sometimes we would not be able to walk at all, but we would push through it. The more pain there was, the happier we would be. God I miss those days.

Just watched Angus Thongs & Perfect Snogging.

Georgia seemed pretty desperate to me, and the fact that she wanted a club birthday party at the age of 14 is a tad bit ridiculous! Anyway, it reminded me of the party Portia and I are planning for next year, we're combining our 18th!

(hehe Debbie inspired me :D)

Now, I'm just waiting for the weekend, dunno what my siblings have in store for my birthday celebration that requires my Zara blazer. I'm guessing really good food, or maybe even a hotel stay! But I shan't guess too much, I shall just wait for the weekend.

(edit: I had actually put a funny GIF here with a story, but it failed to move like

those Harry Potter pictures so I removed it. oh dear how sad.)

2011-03-22T23:28:00.000-07:00

Guess who bought our tickets already!

I fell into minor depression when I realized the tickets I wanted was actually VIP tickets going for hundreds, but oh well, we're going anyway. We decided on the last section so that we could see the model at the end of the catwalk, I think that would make for interesting photos :P

I'm so stoked, its in a week! I was supposed to get a free ticket, but those buggers haven't replied, so whatever. I'm fine buying my own ticket anyway, feels like I worked to get to where I want! Even if its one of the cheaper tickets :P

In Portia's words "us mere mortals are going to see the fashion gods!"

and that's pretty much good enough :)

2011-03-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

I apologize for not blogging the past few days! Been running around the country meeting friends and watching movies! March is passing so fast,

and I can't wait for two things! First is school, second, my birthday!

That day I was frantically running around to get my enrollment forms completed, and I needed some of my dad's particulars but he was in a meeting. So I bused to town to meet him at the hotel, and when I walked in, it turns out he left it in a package for me.

Cue concierge going "Sir we have a package for you!" #blairwaldorfmoment

- This weekend we're celebrating my dad's birthday and my birthday

30th March

- Habibah Daniel Audrey and I are gonna watch Alice in Wonderland at ACJC

31st March

- Mens Fashion Week 2011 at Marina Bay Sands with Portia and Bhavana!

- Alice in Wonderland again with Chermaine, Nicole and the rest

- Namrata's birthday party in Clarke Quay (early April)

I'm honestly so broke from buying random tickets, and I already have to buy clothes for some events. On top of that, I wanna watch Lion King. This is my miserable life.

day seventeen

2011-03-17T04:39:00.000-07:00

day seventeen - things that scare me

A lot of things scare me. I'm always freaked out by stories about the supernatural, I mean, there's so much talk about it, no one would fake stories about something so scary would they? That's just plain evil, mean, and horrendous.

But the things that really frighten me? Losing my loved ones, not being able to live out my life the way I want to, not having a stable future, a lot of things. People say the world's gonna end in 2012, and that saddens me because I would not have been able to live out my life. I'm always afraid that I haven't done anything substantial in my life, and the fact that I may pass on before I get a chance to change that demoralizes me.

People don't scare me, cause I'm a human too. They hit me, I hit back ten times stronger, harder, and faster in a place it will hurt more, because I'm smarter. You bitch at me, gossip behind my back, I will tear you down. I've broken up a couple before because the guy was being a bitch to me. So a lot of things don't scare me, but not being able to get what I want in life,

now that terrifies me.

2011-03-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

Started the day at Carol's crib helping her and Hazwani with their Shakespeare Literature project! It was so much fun, I miss having homework. Rushed to The Cathay to catch Red Riding Hood a third time, it was fantastic as usual. Dinner at VivoCity with Kim, Daniel, Rachel, Afiq, Carol, Danica, Hazwani and Nini was so much fun, we sat on the bleachers.

Failed with all the jumpshots! It was so hilarious. Then came PETER.

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Basically we were sitting at Starbucks and Rachel spotted this hot guy behind me, so she and Afiq were trying to figure out what he looked like. The guy refused to look our way, so it was up to me to get his attention!

So I took my sunglasses, screamed 'OH MY GOD AFIQ!'

and threw them straight at the guy.

Let's just say a lot of hilarity ensued, but Rachel got to look at the guy! Hehe, I'm so efficient. We spent the night at Sentosa which was so much fun, walking across the island in darkness definitely brought out a lot of interesting moments. Like how Afiq and Rachel are terrified of the Merlion. Then came the washroom scare.

We were so terrified after what happened in the washroom, we sat in front of 7-Eleven until sunrise before walking back to monorail station. Somehow, being the brightest place at 4am, 7-Eleven became a sanctuary from the horrifying darkness :P

day sixteen

2011-03-16T04:18:00.000-07:00

day sixteen - 3 aspects of my personality I'm proud of

1. daring

I would probably be most proud of the fact that I'm extremely daring. I always push myself through anything and I don't give a rat's ass about anything. When I was younger, I was scared to death of my apartment block's lift, yet I could always dare myself and force my body to go home alone even if my mind was screaming to run in the opposite direction. I got in my contact lenses on the first try, and I dare to approach ministers when on the job as a student journalist.

I do what gets me closer to my dreams, and naturally I need the balls for it.

2. efficient and aware

I'm the kind of person who is always aware of everything and thinking five steps ahead. I can be talking to someone yet actually coming up with what to do next. I multi-task exceptionally, and notice the finest detail, earning me the nickname Christopher in my literature class, hehe.

People turn up for interviews with one piece of paper while I turn up with three files of certificates, true story. I think fast, and I think hard, to get what I want.

3. propriety

I always uphold myself with proper etiquette and behavior, I always have my manners and I always stay polite. I smile at almost everyone and greet taxi drivers nicely even if I hate them for different reasons like routes or language.

Yes I swear every now and then, not to mention I'm pretty wild when with friends or at parties, but I always make sure I can walk away from any situation happy with my actions, and clear of any guilty conscience.

2011-03-14T11:12:00.000-07:00

If there is one thing I have never understood in life, its how people sleep.

My siblings, my folks, friends, they all baffle me. I never understood the term,

"I'm gonna sleep now". Then they lie down and knock out within seconds.

For me, I think I could be a legitimate insomniac. For years, I would lie in bed completely and utterly awake, both mentally and physically. I would lie there, staring into the immense darkness and think, or use my phone. Somehow, when I fall into a slumber, I jerk awake because don't like the feeling. That uncertainty, not knowing what's happening around you whilst you dream, not knowing if you're gonna wake up, that feeling when you drop into dreamworld.

I always think, this must be what passing feels like.

It doesn't help that I'm notorious for horrendous rounds of lucid nightmares and sleep paralysis. One acquaintance thought that lucid dreams were cool shit and desperately googled ways to get one. I was infinitely pissed off because its the total opposite, its horrifying, its consuming and it eats you alive.

I don't know how this blog post came about, I'm just running out of things to do on the internet while waiting to pass out since I don't 'sleep'.

ovaries

2011-03-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

my day in (two) twitpics!

First off, Shawn and Ong Jin tweeted me a picture of Magnum Force!

You don't see much here but everyone knows they're kickass. Shawn saw them while at NP with out me (deh-vas-tated) and tweeted me cause he know Portia and I wanna join! I can't wait to tryout and start tumbling! Its so much fun, last night Afiq was tumbling at the F1 pit and I was so jealous of him. Dumb dancers, showing off after I dropped out.

Second, I wore that racy shirt Shawn got me while in Aussie! Technically his sister chose it for me, and I could never wear it cause my dad would keel me. But today I was out of stuff to wear, ironic I know, and decided to wear this as a joke! Met Portia to watch Red Riding Hood a second time at the Cathay which was spectacular. The ticket usher was Aussie and understood my questions, unlike local ones who are lost in translation. I wanna see more Aussies!

Then I watched the movie again, and oh god my poor ovaries.

day fifteen.

2011-03-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

day fifteen - best thing that happened this week.

(Note : I am skipping a few questions in the challenge because its all about relationships and they are really boring to someone who is rather neutral about being single.)

I don't normally classify things when they're good. I tend to remember the bad parts, like 'oh my god I fell so many times today, its the worst day ever' but I don't remember good ones unless they're extremely exceptional. If I had to pick something though, it would probably be chilling overnight with my old besties, catching up with an impromptu dance lesson for Daniel!

I hung out overnight with Rachel, Afiq and Daniel that day, which was so much fun. We sat overlooking the sea, in front of the F1 pit in town and just chatted the entire night. The weather was spectacular, so cold and windy. We had fun teaching Daniel how to do body rolls which he failed terribly at, something rather ironic considering he's double jointed and bends in the scariest ways. We talked about our love lives, or lack thereof, and eventually dragged ourselves across town looking for a 7-11 store. Apparently the one at MBS is a private one only for the staff! How unfair is that.

Took the first bus home at 6.49am, took one look at Raffles City, blinked, and suddenly I was at Serene Centre. Normally when I blink-sleep I know cause I would be groggy, but I didn't even realize! It was honestly such a quick blink, and somehow the shaky bus didn't wake me at all.

Got home, slept, and went back out again. Thus is the story of my life.

day nine & ten

2011-03-14T00:14:00.000-07:00

day nine - your last kiss

day ten - my opinion on drugs and alcohol

I figured, I could do these two together, mostly because my last kiss was from a drunk friend after I helped her clean up her puke. Dragged her up to let her rest and I get thrown on the bed instead, rather violently -.-

So that kinda shows my opinion on the two. I definitely rule out drugs, getting high at the risk of harming or endangering your life is not acceptable. Not to mention its illegal in Singapore, do you wanna do time behind bars just for one night of fun? Alcohol, I grew up without with respects to my religion, but the way my close friends take it is rather interesting. The masses consider it as a way to wind down and rest on slow nights, or to party it up at the club.

I understand why they wanna calm down or party, but I think people should learn to take alcohol in safe doses. Figure out your limits, and stick to it. You don't wanna drink drive, or puke the entire night. Worst, for the girls, pass out somewhere all alone.

So pretty much for me, drugs is a big no, but for alcohol, learn to hold yourself together.

2011-03-12T10:03:00.000-08:00

ever since the party, every time I hear a song that reminds me of clubbing, I somehow start to spazz. Its so embarrassing I've caught like a dozen times by my folks and now my brother.

#godhelpme I need to club again its so addictive.

day eight

2011-03-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

been listening to this over and over. I secretly think Britney drew her 'Circus' inspiration from this video, but they're both legends in their own right :D

day eight - something I'm worrying about

I've told a lot of people about this, but I'm so worried about my polytechnic education, due to start this April. I had my plans worked out but this has thrown me off base. I need to know this is gonna be good for me, I'm gonna get into a good university doing what I like, and I'm gonna grow up happy I went to this school.

I need it to start now, cause we're all our own worst enemy. The only thing worse than bad news, is no news, same goes with information. If I dunno what its like, I'm just gonna suffer in

suspense. I worry about everything all the time, I worry if I'm gonna miss the bus, I worry my smallest actions, but this is what kills me in the middle of the night.

its my own personal form of insomnia.

red riding hood.

2011-03-12T06:59:00.000-08:00

At dinner yesterday, Shawn and Benji were totally convinced that I was bitching at the waiters for their slow response. At least I bothered to smile at them and say thank you/please. They totally should have seen my mom today. Ordering food became a grumble free for all, one spark and her mood was spoiled for the rest of the night.

So today, I caught Red Riding Hood which was simply captivating. Catherine Hardwicke is a genius, and somehow all the latest films have been surprisingly good. Hollywood has stumbled upon an amazing formula for spitting out quality movies one after another.

fresh faces, fresh blood.

In this case, we saw the return of Amanda Seyfried and Shiloh Fernandez. But like how I favored Teresa Palmer, I personally think Max Irons was the gem throughout the entire film! Rightfully so, he's the son of film royalty, Jeremy Irons.

We're reached a point where there's a shift in the industry, when fresh blood take over the current stars. We slowly see legends like Nicole Kidman, Tom Cruise, and Judi Dench fade away into retirement, while the new generation take over. So many fantastic ones too, Nicholas Hoult, Jennifer Lawrence, Andrew Garfield, Alex Pettyfer, Emma Stone, Dianna Agron,

and now Max Irons. I certainly cannot wait to see his next film, no doubt another blockbuster.

The movie was had Hardwicke's signature dark themes, and I might just watch it a second time. Teehee, definitely recommended, a must see!

emotional

2011-03-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

today was honestly so emotional for me

I've been more emotional than usual the past week, and I think part of it is because of the

30-day challenge. I contemplate things before I write them, and this always ends up with me pouring my heart out and writing so much.

Today, the people of Japan got something they didn't deserve. I sat alone in my home, reading the twitter feeds, and I had this huge black hole in my chest. I imagined if this happened to us, what would I say to my family? My sister who was working prolly a twenty minute run away? My brother and father who were working in town? My mom, I had no idea where she was cause she is clueless with phones. What about my poor vulnerable grandparents, sitting ducks in a condo five minutes away?

Half of me wanted to hug the rabbits and call my loved ones, the other half wanted to just go out to try and forget everything. I couldn't watch Glee in peace, I kept going back to the Twitter feed. I prolly scared and pissed off some people by constantly retweeting what is now obvious hoax rumors about tsunamis hitting Singapore, but it was just something too serious to let pass.

While walking through the dark back entrance of BTP, I looked around the dark field, the distinctive overhead bridge, the steps, the smallest details. I used to come here every week as a tiny kid, running around getting spoiled by my folks and granny. There was a toy shop in the basement back then, and every weekend my granny would give each grandchild ten dollars to buy any toy we wanted, regardless of whether we already had it. We would run around playing, and at the end of the day, we would just throw it in the bin before leaving because we knew we could buy it again.

We take so many things for granted, I fail to find a reason. What right do I have as an ignorant being to sleep in air-conditioned bliss while thousands now mourn their losses, not even having a bed? I complain the second my mom turns off my aircon, but these people don't have options. Entire low-lying Pacific Islands are being swept over by towering destructive tsunamis, only to be lost forever.

I can't even imagine the raw fear millions are feeling now as the tsunami warnings are being put up and they have to live knowing that tidal wave is coming straight for them. The fear of losing your lives, your loved ones, everything you hold dear? Or constantly guessing how bad the wave is gonna be? I would not be able to take the suspense.

can I find the decency to return to my frivolous ways?

or the strength to move on a better man?

day seven.

2011-03-11T09:38:00.001-08:00

day seven - my opinion on cheating

Amidst all the drama in my life, I grew up in a household where my parents stood by each other through thick and thin. All the troubles and problems, it didn't matter because they worked through it together. They've been together for more than twenty years, and while that may not be much compared to my grandparents, its still something in our era.

So many couples in Hollywood end up in disasters, and the number of divorces in Singapore is simply disgusting. When I was young, occasionally I would come across one friend whose parents got divorced, and I could not bare imagining the pain they went through. But now all grown up, divorce statistics are almost six figure digits every year. It's not just a number, its the number of families that have been broken apart.

now, I know a few more friends whose parents have separated, and whenever I'm with them I always make sure I get to see them smile. They deserve it. Marriage is an institution because its the foundation for a family. I definitely want a marriage like my parents, who have stuck by each other for years. So does my sister, who at her age has only had two boyfriends, yet both of them lasted three years! (Still counting for Desmond though, they are going strong, thank god)

but it frightens me that I know deep down, I'm such a slut. My sister used to tell me all about her stories, the close encounters she had with guys, all the sweet mushy stuff. But I can't bear to tell my own sister what I've done because I'm so ashamed of myself. For the record, I'm still a virgin, but that doesn't mean I haven't done stuff. The sad part is, I may have had fun, but never have I don't anything with legit loving feelings behind them.

so yes I believe in good strong marriages, and that cheating is unacceptable.

I just wonder what lies ahead for me, and I await the day when I lose my true first.

day six

2011-03-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

day six - person I like and why

Well, I like people for their smiles. A lot of people thought I liked this girl who I stuck to like glue for almost three years in secondary school, but at the end of the day, I think I liked her because I fell into the best friend trap. What a lot of people didn't realize was that I liked someone else.

Even though we weren't in the same class, every time I walked past and looked in, we would somehow just click. I was so afraid to talk to her, I could never muster anything more than a sentence. Once I was eating and didn't realize she sat across me cause she was friends with the people in my clique, I was utterly terrified. I only noticed when she passed me my wallet, and I looked up to realize it was her, which pretty much make me choke.

Well, we're obviously in different schools now, but it doesn't really matter cause she made me think about what makes my legs go jelly. I came out of a friendship that was so filled with hate and gossip, only to fall for someone who had the most paralyzing smile. She had the most infectious laughter, and you could see pure joy in her face when she smiled.

so I guess, I like people who are positive, because at the end of the day, negative things just really get you down.

day five

2011-03-11T09:12:00.000-08:00

day five - things that irritate me about both sexes.

1. insensitivity

for guys, I don't get why a lot of them think that being macho and tough is basically being rude. they think swearing and insulting others is cool. I had a friend who was a really nice person but didn't have that many friends, and he only became popular after he started being vulgar. Sadly he directed it to me a lot and its rather annoying because all it made him was a huge prick.

2. facades

there are so many girls, who like to talk about how hot guys are, how they wanna lick certain body parts, and even save pictures of their favorite males stars on their phones. But the moment they kiss their boyfriend, or they get touched by someone they like, their whole bravado just comes crashing down. Yes you should keep your dignity and stay true to yourself, but if that's the case don't put up some fake facade about how much you love "sex" cause a lot of men are thinking with the wrong head

3. double standards

its bad enough that a lot of boys are raised with instinctive homophobia, but I've heard some really weird perceptions from some of my friends. One guy hates gays, but thinks lesbians are cool cause at the end of the day they still have vajayjays and will marry guys to have kids.

honestly, how fucked up is that? they're lesbian, they adopt. being gay doesn't mean you're any less of a man, because at the end of the day you're still human.

4. fashion

is it so hard for guys to look for good fitting clothes to wear? they must feel some sort of pride wearing clothes that make them feel good, considering how many boys in my school march like they own the place while in their uniform group outfits. you wear a shirt two sizes too big with a neckline that is ridiculous, shorts halfway down your ass with sandals and you want girls to swoon? think again.

5. crying

I admit that crying is mostly involuntary and I cry too sometimes during movies. but some of these girls I know need to grow up. they cry at the smallest thing and they stay that way for hours. some guys feel bad and go weak when girls cry, but i'm not one of them. if I see the situation and I think its pathetic, I don't give a fuck cause you need to grow up.

that was so hard to come up with, I have five fingers on one hand, but god I could not think of anything I hated.

birthday wish!

2011-03-10T03:27:00.000-08:00

MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING!

a few of my close friends have already begun asking me what I want, starting with my bestie Bhavana who was officially the first to ask! I highly doubt I'm gonna get a lot of presents this year since I'm out of school and I hardly meet up with a lot of my friends, but hopefully I get to celebrate with most of you, and you get to read this list/guide!

(all pictures for clothes taken from net-a-porter, but do not get me anything from there as I don't like making fellow classmates who are suffering from adult fare fork out too much for me, hehe. Hell, I won't buy from there too, I hate handling shipping.)

1. shirts

You can never have too many shirts, a refreshing and dashing contrast to the highly over worn trend of junk food slogan tees in Singapore. Casual shirts send the message that you're laid back yet bother to dress well.

(mostly a S or M size)

2. knitwear

Not that many peeps in our country wear this, its suicide to wear wool in our blasted tropical heat. My secret? Wear wool and cab everywhere, teehee. It's so comfortable, and a definite must in everyone's wardrobe. Cardigans for layers, pullovers for long lectures.

(guess and check for my size? prolly an S or M again)

3. shorts

I'm personally too short and stubby for long pants, so I prefer shorts. I have like ten pairs already, but you can never have too many!

(32-inch waist size!)

4. Bags

Most of the bags I have are duffel sling bags, and ONE backpack which I'm rather unhappy with. Now I have to find a bag to carry my laptop and notes, my current trusty bag already made my enrollment notes so kiam-chai already.

5. shoes

I don't really have any advice on shoes, its not like anyone wants to walk across town barefoot anyway, even though I would dare to do so.

(mostly a size seven)

That's pretty much it. You might wonder why for bags and shoes the paragraphs are so far below the pictures, its because the images came with with borders so the paragraph is actually directly below the pics yet you can't tell.

Mostly I like gifts from the heart, it doesn't necessarily have to be expensive. I've personally had a lot of fun ganging up together with friends to plan special presents, ones that the birthday peeps can relate too. But for those of you who wanna be on the safe side and get clothes, I figured why not?! My poly education is starting soon anyway, I need as much clothes as I can get.

I think fashion has definitely hit the youth as something essential in their lives. Sadly a lot of them become victims of fashion trends, which is a lot like wearing a school uniform all over again. Think about it, skinny jeans, berms, fred perry/cotton on polo tees, anything from topman. Girls, all those skirts and floral tops, yup you too.

Fashion is a way of making a statement about yourselves, and I'm pretty sure somewhere in their heads, patrons of NUM think the same. They attempt to make statements about their body, but somehow it gets lost in translation, oh well.

So, you have a month till my birthday peeps! I will be at Men's Fashion Week in the afternoon, and ACJC at night to watch my friends perform in Alice in Wonderland. For those meeting me at those events, we can totally celebrate together, for those not, arrange something? I miss a lot of you guys, a picnic sounds fun :)

day four.

2011-03-09T15:26:00.000-08:00

day four - what I wear to sleep.

Simple, I wear tees and shorts. A lot of my guy friends like to sleep shirtless, but being the spoilt brat I am, I used to sleep with two aircons on, now substituted by one juggernaut super-cold unit. Yet amidst the snow, I sleep in a mix of old junk food tees, Uniqlo cotton tees, camp tees, and shorts that are shorter than most yet longer than FBTs.

now why did that last sentence rhyme?

2011-03-09T15:11:00.000-08:00

day three - what kind of person attracts me

This is seriously a topic in which I have utterly no basis to talk about, or any research at all. I can distinguish who good-looking people are, both dudes and girls, yet I don't feel attracted to any. Sometimes I would point out hot people to my friends, and we would joke about it, but I don't feel any seriousness about my status as a single.

I have this friend on twitter, who without fail will wish for a girlfriend on twitter every frickin' night at 11.11pm, which to me is sadly a bit pathetic. You only enter a relationship when you truly love someone, and its sacred, so why look for one and be so desperate? You should wait for something special, rather than dilute yourself with so many frivolous relationships which end up making the special one just as casual. I would wait for mine, cause when it comes, its worth the wait.

I've had a girlfriend as a joke before, cause she and I were bored so we would go around our friends, skipping while holding hands and making fun. But even then she was a really good friend to me, nothing more.

Everyone in school expects me to be a homo cause I was in drama, which I quite frankly don't understand. But the small-insecure-secondary-school me was so caught up with labels, I figured that I must have something in me that made them have that perception. Then I realized something, which I shall articulate in Margaret Cho's apt words.

"So I had this crisis, confused and thinking, am I gay?! Am I straight? Am I gay, or straight?! Then I realized, I'm just slutty." (Margaret Cho)

So in conclusion, like my good friend/sista Bhavana, I am a proud sapio-heterosexual.

Now your job is to figure out what a sapiosexual is, hehe.

day two.

2011-03-09T14:05:00.000-08:00

day two - how have I changed in two years?

(warning, long post)

Despite it being 2011, I shan't count it as it hasn't progressed. Thus, two years ago would be 2008, when I was in Secondary Two.

I was bullied, yes I was. Classmates who read this are gonna be like, nahhh he wasn't. But I was this short, extremely confident prick who somehow kept annoying the most popular boy in class, aka my best friend's boyfriend. How cliche is that? I've been kicked down stairs, spat on, my seat has been spat on, violent threat texts, and definitely ostracized. Yes I still chatted with friends, but you could tell they were just being polite.

Yet somehow, I liked myself more back then. I was still fresh out of a slightly elitist primary school, and came from a family that had high expectations for me. I was raised in a family where we spoke prim and proper English, where we watched our postures, where we had weekend lunches with our grandmother in Sixth Avenue. Somehow that empowered me in a way I can't describe.

I was so much smarter back then, and yet so much more of a trainwreck. My health was declining like a pilot who had no parachute, and yet I stretched myself too thin. I became vice-chairperson of my CCA while still being a junior, won six national awards and became a Straits Times intern. Sadly, I gained a bad reputation at ST for failing to meet their requirements cause I simply stretched myself too thin. On top of that, I was going through family problems which I shan't discuss, cause at the end of the day, I love them dearly.

That was also the year I was supposed to migrate to the Middle East, and I had mixed opinions about it. I would have been delighted to go to international school, but at the same time I didn't know how to cope with the culture change. Someone once said to me,

'my dear Nasri, you won't be culture shocked. You're gonna shock them."

Somehow secondary three was a really demoralizing year for me. I hated school, I hated everything in my life. I lost my confidence in myself, and procured a dose of stage fright which is mostly peculiar considering I've been performing since I was a toddler. My studies continued to plunge, which pretty much brought my decline up full circle. I had lost who I was, and my academics was failing to boot. My two best friends decided to take turns deserting me, which was rather painful.

My senior year definitely saw a changed me, inspired by my grandparents and my aunt who are all legends in their own right. I was so set on where I wanted to go for tertiary education, I had marked out a ten year plan filled with details, like different universities I could choose, accommodation, possible double majors, and where I would work. I hired a full-time private tutor, which cost a bomb but was worth it in the end. I knew what subjects I would take, even daring to take H3 literature.

My friends who were in my dream school were so welcoming, I ran there every time I could. Performances, open days, and even chatted with them during my DSA auditions. On more than one occasion I skipped school to attend their seminars for future students. It was everything I could ask for, the culture, the prim and proper English, even the kind of jokes the seniors made. The academics, the people, the lifestyle. Play hard but work even harder. People there would have understood me, and finally I would not have been an outcast. It was like the ugly duckling who had been with the wrong species for ten years only to meet the swans at the end of the day. I made so many friends there, and it felt like home.

My teachers didn't understand that, and they had other plans for me. Alas, god did too.

My O level results showed a drastic improvement from my preliminaries, with my math and science going up five grades. I had topped the school in English being the only A1, and somehow I accepted the fact that I got a B3 for Art. Yet while all my grades had improved, my Accounts didn't, making me ineligible for any junior colleges. I was crushed, even if my R4 was better than most of the cohort, yet somehow my teachers were congratulating me. I distinctively remember telling my vice-principal, someone who I looked up to, why I was distraught, and her reply was,

"Law? Why on earth would you want to do law, my dear?!! *chuckles* You should stick with media! Is your family asking you to do law?"

I felt so disgusted. I had been categorized as the kind of kid who got pushed into something he didn't want by his parents, like those typical Asian parents who wanted the trifecta. So after a week of mourning, I re-grouped and applied for the best course I could see myself in. I got in of course, and I'm now looking forward to making the most of it.

Sure this has been a really long post, and I highly doubt anyone would read it, but somehow I feel it has brought me clarity. I may not be where I wanted to be, and my ten-year plan is effectively dust, yet I am serene and calm. That's because I've reached an epiphany, where even if I'm still confused about myself in all matters, especially religion, I still know what I want in life. I know who I wanna be, what I wanna achieve, and that's what matters.

How I get there is the fun part.

2011-03-07T21:36:00.000-08:00

To fill my free time, I went through 65 pages of my long-lost friend's tumblr.

This resulted in finding a challenge that will fill my next 30 days before poly starts.

How convenient is that?

day one - weird things i do

Now that I'm in the middle of the enrollment process and I am currently jobless due to my somewhat obscure status as a student, I'm bored almost everyday and home alone. This leads to my OCD being put in overdrive.

Some people eat, some people flog the log, but when I'm bored, I clean the house.

Like Michelle Chong aka Barbarella, I'm a perfectionist. Lucky for me, my parents house's is currently undergoing a renovation of sorts, mostly a huge spring clean with new furniture and layouts, possibly a new kitchen.

So I sort out through boxes of horded trash, bucketloads of laundry, and a whole lot of cleaning. I throw clothes in the washing machine, and while waiting for it to do its thing, I hang the previous batch, take down the dry ones, fold or hang them and send them to the respective wardrobes, sort out more laundry, sweep and mop, do the dishes, take out the trash, and a lot of other minuscule things.

My granny once said, you're just as crazy as me, so neat!

Somehow that trait skipped a generation with my mother being a prime case example. Now if you would excuse me, I literally have to go hang more clothes as I typed this in between washing cycles. The 71-minute soak cycle is done!

2011-03-07T21:02:00.000-08:00

When I wanna do photography shoots, or even a film, I know exactly what I want. I know the shots, the cast, the equipment, the soundtrack, the venues, the script, everything. It just comes to me in dreams, and somehow I remember every minute detail, even the outfits, the clothes, or lack thereof, teehee.

I re-watched my old film from secondary two, and even though it won Silver at nationals, I agree that its bollocks. I mean, you can't even understand the storyline, it won because of the workmanship and the technical work :P

Now that I know I have to complete the film module for mass communications in term one, I already dreamt of my new video to shoot, and lets just say somehow everyone that I unconsciously picked out for the cast is somehow deliciously yummy.

nightmare

2011-03-07T18:47:00.000-08:00

Nightmare Recount!

So basically it was a mix of a lot of things that happened to me recently, only highly exaggerated. It started with a holiday (had one in January) but it was cancelled cause something was affecting my mom and suddenly she was losing a lot of blood. Then suddenly some friend of hers called Carmen fell ill and my mom had to fly to the States to visit her. How obscure is this?

So I came home, and I went to intern at some photoshoot, and my celeb crush was there, which is really weird. It was at this random mall near Sixth Avenue, next to the playground I went to as a kid. The interior of the mall looks like Jelita, but it wasn't. Anyway, the photoshoot needed to look like it was raining so we sprayed water and suddenly blood came out of the hoses.

Then I came home, and I was all alone at home! (in real life, last night when tweeting Nadhir while home alone my bedroom door randomly slammed.) There was something wrong, the place didn't feel right, and I didn't even dare to take time to change so I grabbed my Bershka jacket and wore it over my home clothes to run out of the house. Then when I opened the house door, all the lights suddenly turned off one by one, towards me. So I tried to lock the door, but after locking it kept reopening ajar. Finally I locked it and ran to the lift.

THIS IS THE PART THAT MAKES ME THINK.

Nothing scary happened cause a while later I woke up, but in the dream, I reached the lift and my real-life new neighbours were there. But they were gossiping about me and my outfit in fluent rapid-fire crystal clear chinese which is really weird since I personally don't speak chinese! So how did my subconscious make up perfectly articulate chinese when I personally don't speak it. I picked up points like her saying that I smelt and that I was hideous, but besides that, I didn't understand what my own brain was depicting.

Does this mean I can speak Chinese, but I'm just not aware of it?

Anyway, that's my second nightmare in three days, and all about things I've been experiencing in real life. I am definitely afraid of leaving the house, especially when I'm alone cause I have to close and lock up the place. That first five minutes when I lock the gate and walk to the lift, I feel the most vulnerable. I'm not protected by the metal gate anymore, I'm not protected by the feeling of home.

But who cares, I go out and have a ball of a time.

all the loneliness in the world

2011-03-07T08:23:00.000-08:00

Well, today was definitely not my day. Tiger Balm hurts like a bitch, and washing it off with cold water just makes it worse. But it's even worse when you get flak from your loved ones for no reason. This post is going to be terribly short cause it's being written from my phone by the way.

Sitting in my pitch dark closet because my clothes are comforting me. Maybe what she said is true, cause if there's one thing this world has taught me, its that no one wants to be your friend when you're different. They all say they support equality, they love Gaga and people are 'born this way'. But how many of them truly believe it?

Still sitting here, in between Muji and Bershka. I might sleep in my brother's Dolce shirt tonight, and wish I was David Gandy. He got bullied in school too, and now he's and international supermodel sex god. (but that will never happen for me)

hair problems.

2011-03-06T07:09:00.000-08:00

Haircut in December.

Haircut in January.

I can honestly say that I have never had a good haircut to date, since the day I was born. I've always been very particular about my hair, if I couldn't get it styled properly or the way I wanted it, I resolved to keep it short and outta mah face. I'm not a fan of bengs who keep dead squirrels on their head.

For some reason, hairstylists rarely speak English in this country, and by the end of the haircut, they find out more about my family heritage rather than how I wanted my hair done. They want to know if I'm local, if I'm part Caucasian, if I'm Eurasian or if my mixed heritage means I'm Peranakan. They want to know how many siblings I have, how old they are, where they're studying, whether they speak Chinese, so many irrelevant and unimportant questions. Taxi drivers do the same thing, anymore questions and you would think their mentally match making you with their offspring.

So I shall try something I read today in DETAILS that should keep my hair out of my face, and leave it alone for a month. I shall traipse into Toni&Guy to have it cut properly just before Freshman camp in April, and hopefully they keep up to their reputation, cause they ain't cheap.

2011-03-05T22:32:00.000-08:00

I do not comprehend why people want holidays. I thrive in the most compromising situations, the more stress there is, the better. I love challenges, I love problems, and I love struggling cause it proves that we're actually capable of doing something with our lives.

It already almost four in the afternoon, and all I've done today is one round of laundry and a whole lot of useless surfing on the internet. I don't think it actually counts as surfing since there's nothing much to read anyway. That and spam calling anyone and everyone to meet me for dinner.

And this is why I desperately need a job.

adjustment bureau.

2011-03-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

Caught The Adjustment Bureau today with Kimberly! I was pleasantly surprised that the director decided to use dance as a juxtaposition against rigid politics. Apparently he had watched a performance by Cedar Lake and decided it was such a good contrast. The way dance lets our soul take flight as opposed to politics which limited David even down to the words he says.

Emily Blunt was stunning as a prima contemporary dancer, sadly a lot better than Black Swan. Granted, Black Swan was a more traditional ballet as opposed to Cedar Lake's contemporary genre, but I somehow felt more emotion from Blunt in her movements. There were no camera tricks, just her with her newly acquired splits and jumps.

Just makes me miss dance so much, sadly there's not many options for dancers in our little island, much less companies with a plethora of male dancers. As Blunt said, many have a cavalier disregard to how much is put in (for dance) and how hard it actually is.

The movie hit me in some ways, riding the bus, I wondered how many out of the crowd actually bothered to fight to get to where they are. We take transport everyday, with so many strangers, but have you ever wondered what their life is like? Would their lives, or yours perhaps, be interesting enough to warrant a cup of tea amidst show and tell?

I sure to hell hope mine is, and I shall fight to keep it that way.

dance the night away.

2011-03-05T00:14:00.000-08:00

I had the weirdest nightmare last night. Somehow, I dreamt that my entire family went into an M18 movie and I couldn't for obvious age reasons. I was subsequently told by my dad to stand in one position outside the cinema door and not to leave until the movie ended. When I did move to use the washroom, it resulted in the most confusing chase scene I have ever encountered in my life.

I jumped off the sixth storey at Causeway Point into a pool and swam away unscathed, and kicked a taxi driver in the face when he tried to pull me away. How mind boggling is that?

People say dreams represent your deeper troubles, but for the record I have no problems with my dad, or cabbies for that matter. So how random is my brain getting?!

Today was another slow day, one of many plaguing my ruined holidays. The anthem of the day, as you may have heard, is On The Floor by Jennifer Lopez. I had a little afternoon siesta while listening to this song and the resulting dream was a rad birthday party rave on a yacht. A mix of my upcoming birthday, blogs and tweets I read, with spectacular background music courtesy of J Lo herself.

Maybe I should plan something for my birthday. Perhaps another house party? Teehee!

2011-03-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

For my ninth birthday, my aunt bought me the ABBA GOLD DVD boxset collection. Even at an age where kids were still in love with the pink ranger and buying all the Barney stuff toys in the world, I knew that this was gonna be a milestone in my life, a point where I was introduced to true, pure, and good music.

Bhavana had the Beatles, I had ABBA.

and the inner slut in me back in primary school deemed this to be my favourite song.

blood.

2011-03-04T09:24:00.000-08:00

Woke up today feeling terribly jet-lagged. No, I didn't fly anywhere, but somehow there's no better way to describe the incredible fatigue, the droopy eyes, and the lack of strength. Yet I managed to jump up, rush a few rounds of laundry and head out to my other house to pick up my enrollment package.

That envelope is a whole lot of crazy shit, a bottomless pit of troublesome administrative procedures which only seem to act as an indicator of my future course. My eyes have been heavily underused during this long sabbatical of sorts, and all of a sudden the ability to read has escaped me. I can't survive three pages of a novel, much less a letter offering me a spot in the "most prestigious polytechnic around." I shan't argue with that, its basically the reason why I chose it.

Dinner and the rounds of DOTA after was especially satisfying today, for some reason blasting woodland creatures with lightning bolts seem to calm my nerves. I even forgot that my lip was bleeding thanks to an ill-aimed punch that Benji threw at Kang Yu's house while playing X-Box. Trust me, it wasn't pretty.

Yet the fact that I forgot about it within minutes somehow hit me as yet another indicator (lots of them flying about) that my life has reached a turning point. Kindergarten kids cry when they fall, and all seem to follow the twisted perception that gangfights occur in secondary school, with macho mustachioed bullies simply ignoring the blood while sitting in a classroom learning inequalities. Safe to say, that hardly happens in Singapore, so when you do get hit, its a bit alarming.

But its nice to know that I got hit, and walked away laughing. I see and experience things that get me depressed everyday, and somehow, this wasn't one of them.

2011-03-03T09:11:00.000-08:00

- So my enrollment package is awaiting at my other house.

- I've been listed on the page of freshmen.

- Other freshmen have begun adding me on Facebook, proof of its status as the universal unifier, god forbid I've never met you before.

And there's a month left to the first day of school. Shit's getting real.

2011-03-03T07:02:00.000-08:00

I've healed from all the aching parts I got from dancing too much, and I've honestly taken away so many memories from the party! Met Julia and Debbie that night at Starbucks and we kept laughing and chatting about all the crazy shit that went down!

The past few days have been slower, going out with the folks and staying at home alone doing chores. Its actually very calming and rewarding to complete chores, as weird as that sounds at the age of 17. I'm barely reaching the cusp of adulthood and I'm already worried about houses. Oh dear.

Still figuring out how to keep all our novels and stuff, I kinda know what to do, I just need to tell my dad. Not really very enthusiastic about busting out my money on furniture when it can go to my savings. In this case, by savings I mean more clothes, hehe.

kitty kat bitches.

2011-02-27T03:54:00.001-08:00

Last night was potentially the most fun I've had in a long time!

It was such an eye opening experience, I got to really see what some people say! There really are certain types of drunkards, eg the sad ones, the happy ones, the slutty ones, it was so hilarious. For most of the first half I was busy watching over the rest, but once they were all settled and passed out or sent home, I finally got to have fun on the dancefloor.

I have never ached so badly in my life, all from dancing for hours. And when everyone came back down from their highs, we just sat amongst the mess and reminisced about the night that just passed us.

I will remember everything, from kitty kat to showers to locked doors to random sprouts of opinions on world issues on the dance floor. Sitting there at the table, chatting with random AC peeps, I knew this was a night to remember. My first house party, but most importantly, Debbie and Charlene's birthday celebration. Happy birthday peeps!

apparels and automobiles.

2011-02-25T09:43:00.000-08:00

My sister drove me home today! It was so surreal, well not really, it just that I'm blowing things out of proportion. It was nice that she's gotten her license, its just proof that we're grown up in some ways, and this was the first time I got to see her drive.

Woke up today, grabbed my suitcases and cabbed over to my other house. Jammed as many clothes as possible, but somehow out of two racks and one stacker, I barely managed to squash one rack into two suitcases, even with my obsessive organized way of arranging things. Left my suitcases there, and rushed in the soaking rain to Ong Jin's, met the rest and headed to Sim Lim!

I am honestly thrilled whenever it comes to shopping, but why some spend so long on computers really baffles me. They took forever to haggle and discuss parts, and they did it in chinese which was such a clincher for me. Makes me sad being monolingual. Had two burgers at Burger King, then grabbed the new computer and went straight into transportation hell.

We waited in line for an hour, constantly calling cabs to no avail and even downloaded apps on our iPhones to book taxis. It was so weird how we couldn't even get through the phone lines yet everyone was calling cabs and getting them in minutes. Then there were those banglahs who hailed cabs mere metres in front of the taxi stand and kept getting away cause no one wanted to abandon their spot in the queue. All four of us were honestly so pissed off, by the time we got into the cab, we were fuming, lethargic, and exhausted.

Got off at Ong Jin's where my sister picked me up, drove by Glendale to pick up my suitcases, and came back to Cashew. While unpacking I ran out of hangers halfway through my first suitcase, which means tomorrow morning I have to run out and buy another ton!

#iwouldendthisblogpostwithaproperconclusionbutimtootiredtocare. goodbye.

2011-02-24T06:59:00.000-08:00

My new wardrobes came today! They came hours early, and I hadn't not even woken up yet! I still had laundry to move, and had to clear out the old wardrobe so it could be moved out! I had to rush so many things, they caught me in my bed parrot hair and wearing a tattered SAJC shirt, totally mismatched with adidas shorts and blue loafers. Sleepy me = blur me = fashion disaster.

After they assembled it, I walked to the town centre with my sister to buy like a ton of clothes hangers. Tomorrow I have to head over to my other house to bring back a bunch of clothes so I don't clutter my wardrobe there! Going to Ong Jin's after!

pitticus lore.

2011-02-24T05:56:00.000-08:00

Teresa Palmer was definitely the break out star of I Am Number Four.

Everyone has seen pretty boy Alex Pettyfer, who coincidentally acted in Stormbreaker, another film adaptation of another book I loved! He was spectacular in this film anyway, excellent casting direction. Even casting Callan was such a good decision.

But Teresa was kickass, and just the fact that she kept her Aussie accent, should make a lot of the folks from down under happy as punch. The movie didn't follow the book to a tee, but I still loved how the plot was well done and they kept the story flowing smoothly. There was not a second that I got bored, or where the plot digressed.

I honestly can't wait for the second book, but sadly that means we have to wait longer for the second movie too. This movie had everything a geek could ask for and more.

2011-02-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

well, I could honestly type on forever but not everyone wants to read it and there are definitely some that I won't spill my thoughts to anyway.

sometimes I honestly wonder why god made me the way I am. what did he want me to do, what does he expect me to achieve.

'i dont understand why you wanna fit in, you stick out like a sore thumb and thats a good thing.' (bhavana)

well, its that's the case, I hope god would give me the strength to forge on through this unknown path. No one's been here before peeps, its really lonely. Still I can't help but feel that there's something glorious, spectacular, magnificent at the end of it.

depression.

2011-02-23T06:05:00.000-08:00

Well, this picture is here for two reasons.

1. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEBBIE!!! I'm really figuring out what to get you as a present :P

2. I look tall here. Which is depressing.

Basically, today was probably the most humiliating and depressing check up I've ever had in my life. First the doctor checks my "equipment" and compares it to like, wooden instruments to check how far I am along in puberty. She then washes her hand VIGOROUSLY.

Okay fine, I would too if I had to touch someone's junk.

But then just when the depressing news came, more intern doctors came in to watch my "drama" unfold. How depressing is it when you're supposed to be 182cm tall but because of blood deficiency I'm stuck at 162cm and 'there's nothing we can do'. I mean, she asked out of courtesy if I'm okay, but even if I said no what was she gonna do, turn into my fairy godmother? So I calmly said yes and walked out, not even looking at the interns.

Most people say that height isn't a big thing, but it really hit me in a lot of ways.

First, I feel like I sold myself short and cheated myself of the best in life because I was supposed to be 182cm, and yet I'm this tiny thing. Its not like as though, other people are born short and want to be taller, I am already genetically supposed to be tall, its in my blood and it was my god-given right. Screw this blood problem.

Even though I know that most don't have much of a future in the arts, it would have been nice to know that I was tall enough to qualify to be, I dunno, some background dancer or even playing a freaking tree in Broadway cause it would have been fun. Maybe even flying the world as an air steward just to see what's out there. But now, I'm pathetic 162, and quite frankly people don't take me seriously.

In other news, my offer letter and enrollment form for Banking at Nanyang Poly has arrived, and its exactly like Summer's enrollment letter to Brown from The OC. It just hit me how much I want to go to university, and do so much with my life, but now, I'm short and fat, and quite frankly, really dumb compared to a lot of my friends.

Now all I have to do is wait for my Ngee Ann Poly Mass Comm letter to arrive, and I will accept it considering I tried so hard in the JPSAE process. And clean my room in the meantime since my furniture is arriving tomorrow.

goodnight people, its a cruel world.

fashion, put it all on me.

2011-02-22T20:37:00.000-08:00

With my new wardrobes coming in tomorrow, I can definitely use some new additions, teehee. Sadly, eating out constantly with friends and the current onset of adult fare has left me with very little shopping allowance! It doesn't help that I'm not working, leaving me with days on end to do absolutely nothing. It has literally made me wish I had gone to JC, hectic academics or not.

Adult fare has been a bitch, in the past, five bucks could last me a week, and now ten bucks doesn't last me two days. As Janice aptly said, without adult fare she could buy a new dress (or shirt in my case) every week!

My desktop is giving me so many problems here at Cashew, and apparently Benji says its a graphics card problem. So here I am on my brother's laptop, and boy does it have a tiny screen/keyboard. I wonder how he survives, but if anything his bookmarked links make up for it! So many fashion blogs/meccas on his google chrome!

And if I can contribute one that I found myself, visit Blake Jacobsen (blakejacobsen.blogspot.com)

I have to go off for a doctor's appointment later, meeting my Endocrine specialist to discuss my height. Apparently I'm supposed to be 1.8 while I'm now at a depressing 1.6 cause of my blood problems. For your easy reference, Mitch Hewer is 175cm which means if I was 1.8, I would happily spend my trust fund on a trip to London to try walking in fashion week. TEEHEE.

Now excuse me while I troll the internet for another 15 minutes before going to shower. Bye!

2011-02-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE PICTURES I FOUND. I fixed up my old computers at my folks place (honestly we have too many) and found so many old photos! This is like what, circa 2008?

I love that tee shirt, I wonder where it went. Cobra Commander shirt from JunkFood, I bought it cause it reminded me of Gabe Saporta!

2011-02-20T09:42:00.000-08:00

Quick updates, I didn't do much so there's not much to blog about anyway. Does anyone know how to fix the font size on my blog? It used to be bigger, but now even if I change the font size while creating a blog post it still comes out tiny.

Second, I was terribly bored of watching SKINS or whatever other drama was available till the crack of dawn so I cabbed to this home like really late at night to continue spring cleaning. A bit pathetic that I've been spring cleaning since last November, yet I'm still not completed. That's what happens when your parents are hoarders. Hahah, but mostly its laundry that needs to be settled.

Third, has anyone received their enrollment letters from their respective polytechnics yet? They said mid-Feb and nothing has arrived. I'm really scared, neither NYP or NP has sent me my forms.

Fourth, I need to get Invisaligns and Lazik and that sinus operation Nat Ho had done. My nose has been annoying me since I was like three years old and apparently something happened to it in Terrenganu. But whatever.

Cannot wait till they finish renovating this house. I need to move back here before poly starts!

127 hours.

2011-02-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

Went to town for like ten minutes to meet these two! Actually it was to watch the dance competition, but I ended up meeting them, walking around for like five mins, then walked off to the MRT and leaving for home while they headed off to watch Black Swan. I didn't even get to meet Rachel and Afiq!

Rushed home to change out of my Uniqlo outfit and charged my phone before heading back out to catch 127 Hours. Only when I was reaching did I call Shawn, and it went like this.

Me : Hey dude I missed my bus, gonna be late. Where are you?

Shawn : Huh? Oh I'm not going. ( this is where my jaw dropped. )

But granted, he had his reasons so it was fine. Turns out Jerin didn't get my ticket, so originally I was across the hall. I told him to get me a seat near them, he got me a seat at the total other end.

"at least its the same row!"

Like a freaking loser I tried snagging seats near them but it was a full house for a reason. Ended up trudging back to my own seat, but it was okay. I had a spectacular view of people gasping and covering their faces, girlfriends hiding in their boyfriend's crotches without realizing the guys were closing their eyes too.

127 Hours is a spectacular movie which captures the strength of the human soul and determination possible thanks to pure will. You would think a one man movie would be boring, but it was so enthralling two hours passed without me realizing. Since I knew the story years ago, I was kept in terrible suspense waiting for the final dish to be served, dessert in the form of gore.

Even Jerin exclaimed that it was more gory than Saw because it was detailed and accurate. I laughed though after he broke off his arm because it was so obvious that James Franco's arm was still there in the sling.

Its definitely a riveting movie, one that made the entire theatre laugh together as Aron proved time and time again, he was typically human. He had quirks like us, and as you'll see, desires. Yet it makes the theatre patrons gasp at the same time, and leave the hall pondering how much you've made of your life. Aron Rolston is a true life hero, and no one can imagine the trauma he went through in that desert.

So watch it peeps, James Franco is especially spectacular with his finesse, watering his eyes rather than all out crying. Just make sure you bring your significant other to hide when the pliers and knife comes out!

2011-02-18T09:17:00.000-08:00

HAHAH UPDATE LIKE FIVE SECONDS LATER.

okay so basically my brother just came back with MORE CLOTHES.

see I told you two new wardrobes weren't enough.

Fossil wristwatch, Topman hoodie/shirt, Pull&Bear sweater

plus more somewhere amongst all those bags. He's so gonna hog my wardrobe space.

and how can I forget.

CONGRATS SIS ON GETTING YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE! :D

now you can drive me around town in style.

2011-02-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

I really do reckon I have long legs but tiny torso. Bummer.

Today was supposed to be spent cleaning the house, but it became a movie at Nex, which again got scrapped and became lunch at IKEA, which became furniture shopping. Thing about IKEA is that once you walk in you see so many things you have never even imagined in your life and yet wonder how you ever survived prior to purchasing it. Its not my first time at IKEA, in fact I go there rather often for the spectacular food in the cafe, but for some reason everything there still enthralls me like a doe eyed kid at a toy store display window.

Or some crazy psychotic bitch in love with kPop. Just sayin, you know who you are.

Back to topic, I've been scouting the IKEA catalogue for like a month trying to figure out a wardrobe that would meet my family's unique needs. My dad has a plethora of company shirts, from all his overseas seminars to family day carnivals at work, my brother has few home wear yet so many choice selections from branded labels, and lets just say my sister has enough clothes to suffice as a donation for third-world countries. So much so that she can't even unpack her new luggage full of shopping she did in Aussie last week.

Eventually we decided on a slightly smaller one but bought two for my room. Now that my furniture has been settled, I can move back to my folks place pre-poly! Now I just have to work for a month in March to fly to HongKong for fun with Shawn and KC.

***

Okay, so I've been annoyed for quite a while at someone whom I shan't name, and I ranted to my friends about it over dinner. Basically they told me I should just ignore this person and unfollow the douche on twitter cause it was wasting my time. But that night I got really annoyed and tweeted at her, not even a direct attack but rather an outlook on her current obsession. I mean, its perfectly fine to adore your favourite music groups, but sometimes its a bit too much.

Jessica's a hardcore fan of Lady Gaga but you don't see her cursing at her parents and telling them to go fuck themselves over a concert, or using her period blood to write letters, or tweeting every single fucking second about her favourite song.

Perhaps if you read this, I hope you realize that I'm not attacking you or your favourite bands. I hate twitter wars, as amusing as they can be, and hope that if you do read this you understand what I mean. Go look at your twitter feed, and notice that every single tweet you sent is bound to be something korean. Life is way too short to be so engrossed, you should be living life rather than fantasizing about performers who quite frankly are all about smoke and mirrors.

You say that they are so kind, or so chivalrous for doing something so small, when thousands do more as a nonchalant practice, and there are so many unsung heroes in the world. Try to snap out of your hypnotic obsession, and maybe then you'll realize how much of a stupid twat you sound like on your twitter feed.

And when that happens, I will happily accept your apology. I'm all about helping the less inclined.

2011-02-16T08:03:00.000-08:00

I. NEED. TO. START. DANCING. AGAIN.

sytycd

2011-02-15T04:39:00.001-08:00

Well, its goes without saying that the actual SYTYCD dancers did it better, but that's considering all of them were trained dancers! I'm still in shock that they pulled off the cartwheel drop lift! (skip to the middle dance)

Woke up surprisingly early this morning at 10am, and ran out immediately for lunch with Shawn. Steak was boring, so I got a second round of noodles opposite. Picked up some for my sister, and bused to our folks' place! Spring cleaning gives me an interesting yet unconventional satisfaction, seeing clean floors and organized clothes. I can't wait to finish cleaning up, I'm hoping to move back before poly starts.

Not much to update about, boring day spent cleaning grime, thus I leave you here folks! Shoutout to Joshua, thanks for the tag! :D

oh mon dieu

2011-02-13T08:56:00.000-08:00

The first is my beloved rabbit Pancakes modeling in a shoot for Singapore Brides. The picture is honestly so très chic, oh mon dieu.

The second is a picture of my sister's childhood stuff toy, aptly named Roger Rabbit, which has been by her side since the day she was born. Its been with her everywhere, from Hong Kong to various parts of Australia. Its a bit disheartening at times to realize that an inanimate object has traveled the world more than yourself, but I still love Roger, and I'm grateful my sister gets to travel.

The topic of migration and overseas education has been brought up an alarming number of times recently that its almost as though God is giving me a sign. I'm still wondering which country to move to for my university education, and I still need to consider the tuition fees, lodging and simple amenities like food, much less shopping. I'll prolly save the thousands I'm obliged to receive in national service.

I need to travel the world, and actually read English classics like Wuthering Heights or Jane Eyre. Having completed the Twilight series does not make you well-read, it makes you a commercial hippie. Glad to say, I've never completed the series, I stopped at the second chapter of the second book because it was killing me slowly, reading such literary trash.

I had a nice day running errands and having authentic hawker fare with my mother. I honestly want to complete cleaning my folks place by this week, I need a deadline or I'll never finish. On top of that, I've got a job prospect! I shan't jinx myself for I really do hope to score a position, or my holidays is gonna be dead boring and my pockets are gonna run dry.

In other news, my earphones isn't spoilt. My laptop audio jack is. Bummer.

2011-02-12T06:34:00.000-08:00

I don't think I've had so much fun in a long time. First, I unintentionally stared at the noodles this guy was bringing to the next table without realizing I was stoning for so long. When I look up, he winked at me. I don't think Bhavana or Portia noticed but it was damn funny I ended up getting the same thing cause the noodles were so good!

Looking at dream IKEA wardrobes, getting squashed in kid furniture and attempting to split in one at some point, getting hair extensions for Portia, and one horror movie? I don't think I've had such an eventful day in a long time.

Anyway, I leave you with the awesome-ness that is Maxxie Sid and Anwar.

skins.

2011-02-09T05:39:00.000-08:00

You know that feeling when you see something, a movie, a show, maybe even a stranger crossing the street, and immediately relate to it. You see yourself in that situation, and for a moment you're so enthralled because you wonder how you ever lived life with that one particular sparkle or facet influencing you every step of the way.

I can relate to Anwar's religious struggles, Maxxie's identity crisis, Tony's manipulation, Cassie's ignorance, Michelle's unrequited love, not to mention Jal or Chris's family problems.

I would never drink because its been reinforced so many times its become a personal choice. Not to mention the fact that I don't actually like the taste of alcohol, much less the sensation. But I see the clubbing, the drugs, and all the other things which I can't actually type out, and the scary part is, I can very easily see myself partaking in it. I wouldn't be surprised if I was the most enthusiastic twat in the party.

That scares me. But I'm more afraid of not knowing what it feels like. I don't want to grow up with nothing to show for it. I want to have lived life, taking my degree overseas and work somewhere even more exotic.

In my heart I know I will never be satisfied with Singapore alone, even though its been such a dear to me my entire schooling life. I want people to cry at my funeral, yet have fireworks like how Chris did.

When you're born, you cry and everyone's smiling. Live life so that at your funeral, you're smiling while everyone's crying. Quoted from Stef, and it could not be more accurate and succinct.

kungheifatchoi.

2011-02-05T06:13:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose I should begin by wishing everyone a happy lunar new year!

GONG XI FA CAI! KUNG HEI FAT CHOI! :D

My new year celebrations were kinda side-tracked with a lot of things that weren't exactly local. For example, my auntie was in the States visiting her son who is in college there, so one empty seat at the table. Second, my sister's birthday falls on Chinese New Year so she's flying off to Aussie for fun with her boyfriend. Third, I went to have dinner with my malay uncle from Perth instead of visit my chinese relatives.

Total number of houses visited? ONE, basically MINE.

The whole town is so dead cause of the new year celebrations, that I've literally have nothing to do. I had my reunion dinner at Basilico, where I had Porcini Risotto with Black Truffle, and my brother had Squid Ink pasta. There were other courses but I'm lazy to digress.

Perhaps being mixed somehow means that I don't get to celebrate either side's festivities with full on enthusiasm. At Hari Raya I don't speak malay, and at CNY I can't eat half the things my granny wants to cook.

I've devoted my spare time to my iPhone, which sadly doesn't have a blogger app, but has Twitter and Facebook. I feel like deleting the latter, for it has been spamming me notifications with pictures of my friends' at orientation. Its crazy how my primary school friend is now classmates with my drama friend who is now in the same orientation camp group as my enemy.

It would have been a lot more fun if I was there to witness (or whip up) some of the drama. But alas, here I am desperately searching for a holiday internship. God please have mercy, I know I haven't been faithful, but that's a whole other blog post.

poly.

2011-01-30T11:45:00.000-08:00

Cabbing from Berjaya Times Square in Kuala Lumpur

Brother waiting for crowd to disperse while disembarking.

(in a Desigual sweater)

My newly restrung racquet.

So I flew to KL to do some CNY shopping and spend time with my family sans sister, all of whom I haven't seen in a long time. Staying with my granny has made me distant from my family, despite still loving them with all my heart. And this trip simply reintroduced me to all the things I missed out on.

Namely my brother's timely quips and jokes which are as lethal as his flatulence.

I've missed the feeling of being in foreign land, where culture is different, food is delightfully surprising, and I don't speak the same tongue as the locals. Yes even in Malaysia I get highly amused as my brother and I attempt to translate billboards, signs or even the radio podcasts to no avail. Taxi drivers get entertainment out of watching us fail at catching up with the deejays on the radio!

A fellow challenged my dad that he could guess our nationality, claiming that we were obviously not Malaysian. He proceeded with exuberant confidence, exclaiming, 'you're from aussie, aren't you?!'

Well, now fully aware of why my siblings seem to love travelling before every landmark change in their life, I feel its only obligatory of me to travel before my polytechnic education starts. Especially when four nights stay at the Park Hotel Hong Kong is cheaper than an IKEA drawer.

Now I just have to raise the idea to the perfect travel buddy.

hold it against me.

2011-01-21T23:01:00.000-08:00

Evaluating my choices now, wasting time playing golf and tennis, losing my head shooting lighting in DOTA, mincing the streets to slut mainstream.

That's not exactly very productive is it?

Yet its so addictive, I don't wanna move on. Somehow it feels like a filler before a big change in my life, and I don't want it to leave. I don't want to change.

Cause when it does, I'm gonna remember what happened, it'll hit me like a big yellow school bus, and I can't handle it. I need my life to work out, I need it to be alright.

life sucks tennis balls.

2011-01-19T09:53:00.000-08:00

My day started with my mom kicking me out cause they wanted me to get my own lunch while my uncle, grandparents and folks went out for lunch. Basically, a 'grownups' lunch. So I showered and left!

Rushed by the management office to book the tennis courts, then bought groceries and authentic Malay Nasi Padang at the wet market. Its honestly so nostalgic, I used to have it for breakfast on weekends when I stayed here at Cashew. It's still so relaxing and cooling here, I love it.

The afternoon was spent at the horse ranch with my dad, he used to live near it and went riding as a kid. Got bitten by mosquitoes to no end, but it was worth it. These holidays, I've been desperately searching for a nice quiet oasis, far away from the hectic city life which has crushed me. It has drained every single ounce of passion in me, and I need me time.

Walked all the way from the ranch to KC's place, it was a nice, slow, and breath-taking walk. Loved the views and the tranquility, but I was so late for our tennis game! Shawn and I sucked so KC ended up playing with my neighbours, but it was all fun. Swimming after, then midnight supper at Rail Mall.

Staying at Cashew tonight, I needed to get some old newspapers cuttings.

You see, I'm preparing for the rest of my life tomorrow, for I have been summoned to a Mass Comm interview.

wish me luck.

2011-01-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

Everyone wishes they can be somebody,

but what happens when you realize it was all a facade?

Do muscles make a man?

Does having a flat runway make a woman any less feminine?

I see things everyday that shake my world, and change my perspectives. The worst part is, no one understands, and no one listens. I'm tired of superficiality, and all these people walking around with masks. I'm tired of a lot of people. What happened to propriety? The way you handle yourself, not shuffling or dragging your feet, watching what you say or what you wear?

I meet people and instantly wish I was them.

No actually, I don't wish to be them.

I wish I had their courage, to be whoever they wanna.

Cause this isn't me.

2011-01-18T05:44:00.000-08:00

OMG. Now I wanna cab over to my parents place and play with my rabbits again even though they give me the allergies.

THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS. I SWEAR.

THIS IS WHY BRITS NEED TO TAKE OVER HOLLYWOOD.

2011-01-16T07:50:00.000-08:00

You have no idea how much I love this movie. I would love to live during that time period, all the layered outfits, the grand mansions with exquisite details, and especially the importance of propriety and social standing. I would have excelled.

Even if it meant I couldn't have technology, the way they use the language would be consolation enough. Honestly, their grammar is superb and the way they phrase things sends shivers down your spine.

And of course, Mr Darcy is so terribly romantically charming, and Elizabeth kicks ass. Honestly, that scene is one of the most memorable in history, it makes you gasp because you feel bad for both sides. Its so heart-wrenching, its like collecting my O level results all over again.

pride & prejudice.

2011-01-15T11:11:00.000-08:00

Armani Exchange shirt w/ Bershka bomber.

I spent half of the first week in 2011 with my parents back at Cashew, and it was simply so rejuvenating. This was pre-results, and even though I was already concerned about it, somehow the comfort I felt in the presence of my parents seem to dispel all fears. The first time I saw my mom post-results was four days after they came out. She hugged me the moment she saw me, and its honestly the best medicine I could ask for.

Life has returned back to normal after a few days of mourning, yet still with a little less vigor. I enjoy myself at times, then remember what has happened, and feel guilty for returning or slipping back into a holiday mood despite the fact that my life had been crushed. Today I went out fishing/prawning with Shawn and the rest today, it was certainly a monumental waste of my money and time. I loved the company, but I caught one prawn then gave up and let Kesavan take my rod for the rest of the three hours. Plus the movie we picked last night utterly sucked.

So I've slipped back into spring cleaning my houses. It began when I wanted to remove everything that reminded me of secondary school so I threw out all my old worksheets or books, and somehow this led to a two day crusade against my stuff here and my room at my parents place. I even found Adidas Originals under my bed, and even though I've seen them before, no one wears it cause we all can't fit into it. Pity, three hundred dollar shoes just lying under my table now.

I spent my sleepless nights re-watching Pride&Prejudice, not to mention reading IKEA catalogues and redesigning the interiors of our rooms at my parents place while doing the math as well so I can propose the idea to my folks. Seems like my accounting and art lessons have finally become useful. I honestly cannot wait to jumpstart my life and enter poly with a new slate, possibly with a highly used gym membership and three-month internship under my belt. I do not wanna waste these holidays.

I may even move back to my folks place. I love it here but its kinda stuffy.

My folks place seems so high up in the sky, and I would have my own room considering my brother is enlisting :D

2011-01-11T06:03:00.000-08:00

The first thing he did was congratulate me, which quite frankly was unnecessary. I did nothing to be thankful for, to be proud of, anything that would grant me the slightest allowance to feel any self-worth. He kept pointing out things and blocking the grades, I was so nervous that simple math slipped from my mind. Yet deep inside, I knew, and it was so devastating.

In the end, its one point thats keeping me away from my dreams. Literally the situations that played out in my brain at night, every song I imagined we would have sang, or any classic we would have performed. I imagined the lights, the camaraderie, and everything would have been so different. All the seniors were already like siblings, and I could only speculate how much better it would have been there. All the bloodshed and tears that would have bonded us together, and finally giving me happy times to reminisce about when thinking back on my entire academic journey.

But now its gone, and its not just painful for me, I owe so much to everyone. To my parents, my aunt, my siblings, and my grandparents. I owe so much to my two grandparents, both legends, yet I'm nothing compared to them. I felt that I at least owed them that much, and now its gone.

The path now is very straightforward, yet saddening and depressing. All the teachers kept mentioning the same course, and while I can understand their reasons, it was just so poisonous. I felt disgusted every time I heard the name, it was almost as though it had become synonymous with my failure, a word that identified that exact moment of inadequacy.

To all of you,

I will never know what it feels like to be one of you. To sit on those blue benches, to feel that pride in being who we were, to embrace the arts in a manner I can never fathom. For the seniors, I thank you so much for everything, I don't have the strength in my heart to visit you guys tomorrow, but you have made such a difference in my life. After ten years, I found people who I could click with, people who loved the same ideals as I did, and yet now I cannot be with you. You have no idea how much that saddens me, but I thank you for everything so far.

As for my friends who followed me on this journey and made it in this year, I congratulate you, for you truly deserve it. They keep warning us how hard it will get, but perhaps my failure would be a constant reminder for you and motivate you to become the best you can be.

after all, the best is yet to be.

but maybe just not for me.

2011.

2011-01-05T04:20:00.000-08:00

To say that this blog has been neglected would be an understatement. Technically, its been neglected over a year. And to top it off, it took a friend's request to read my blog in order for me to come back rushing here just to spruce it up at the risk of my literary reputation.

Not that I have much of one anyway! :P

This new year has certainly been good to me, just like how the holidays have rejuvenated me. I felt like it was an obligation to work, yet it didn't feel right dragging myself everyday so I left. And while they've called me today to ask if I would like to come back, I'm not exactly enthusiastic about the prospect. This is my time to relax post Os and pre-JC, thus I feel that I should milk this period, even if it means doing so with a little less moolah.

I've picked up three new sports, golf, tennis and ice-skating, all of which are honestly delightful. I've also had the privilege of going out with the folks two days in a row, considering I see even less of them in a year! What was supposed to be a spring-cleaning session at my other house led to a hunt across the island for a new iPhone 4 that my dad wanted to get for me, with a lot of pampering and shopping in between. For a split second, I nearly got new golf clubs!

I've even met up with old friends whom I thought I was on bad terms with, even though I had always wished the best for them. And while they may be going through things now, we all had fun last week at a photoshoot! I was sweating through the five-layer outfit in the drain that we shot the photos, but it was worth it.

So while the results come out soon, I shan't spend these last few days worried. I've somewhat achieved what I wanted this holidays, and its time that I return to the fierce inevitability of academics and its harsh realities.

2011-01-01T07:53:00.000-08:00

a mix and match of photos I've shot and pictures that inspire me.

ready, danica?

resolutions.

2010-12-29T07:48:00.001-08:00

resolutions?

1. To have enough self-respect and love. I need to follow up on all my endocrine/neurology check-ups at NUH, and finally get myself back into the pink of health, then maybe back into shape.

2. To have the strength to watch myself financially. A lot of people say I have a huge allowance, but they don't realize its because I live alone. I watch out for all my meals, and all my expenses, and hopefully, I can plan properly so I don't end up penniless every time I walk back through these gates.

3. To have the resilience to take up what I love the most again, performing arts. I haven't acted in years, and in this absence from the stage, I've lost my true self somewhere in this garden city. I've lost my confidence, my strength, and instead gained a fear of the stage. Its time I put myself up there again.

4. To figure out who I am.

Everyone gives me names, or insult me in jester, but they don't realize how much it hurts. I'm still figuring out who I am, and all these labels don't help. Friends come and leave as they please, its like I'm a dirty doormat.

Where is the true one who would pick me up and brush off the mud?

5. To bring my loving family back together. I love you all.

goodbyes.

2010-12-29T06:41:00.000-08:00

It almost the end of the year, and I'm not ready to let it go. I'm not ready to let my friends go. I've had my sad times, but I came back today ready to blog about all the great moments I've spent this past weeks. All the warmth I've felt in an ice rink, all the happiness I've felt in the midst of loss. But you know what, I saw those pictures, and its just heartbreaking.

You used to be so pretty, like a real sister to me.

But now, your attitude has ruined your face, and I don't see that warmth in you anymore. No hard feelings from me, for I truly miss you, but goodbye my old friend, and goodbye 2010.

ice-skating

2010-12-23T09:06:00.000-08:00

I'm really glad that I stopped working, because it has kind of allowed me to truly go out and enjoy the free time I deserve after something as hectic as O levels. Two days ago, I went out to find Chermaine at the airport cause she was arriving from a month of ballet and ice skating training in China, but we couldn't figure out which flight she was on so we left. Met Chermaine, Charlene and Nicole for dinner, was so much fun at Parkway Parade, we shared twenty bucks worth of PepperLunch then went to Chermaine's house and played with Nerf guns.

Today, I went out with Ben Shawn and JG in the afternoon, then headed to Kallang to ice skate! I'm so happy I did, had so much fun and made so many friends! Nicole Charlene Roberto Alison Max Jasmine and more. Ice skating is really fun, and everyone there is seriously so flexible and so friendly.

Was lazy to go all the way back home so I came here to Roberto's house, heading back early in the morning tomorrow. I know have a new ice skating buddy in the west :)

2010-12-22T08:52:00.001-08:00

http://danielxsummer.tumblr.com/post/2384712827

honestly, follow the instructions. OMG!

relaxation.

2010-12-21T07:49:00.000-08:00

These past two days of shopping have been incredibly therapeutic, however, there's not much shopping to be done for someone with my proportions, much less any male in Singapore. So little shops, too little diversity, everyone ends up wearing the same thing, even bengs who can't pronounce the brand they're wearing.

Simply bought berms and shoes, then cut my hair. A lot of good food, Crystal Jade, Thai Express and Xin Wang HongKong cafe. A lot of good company too. Kept running into people, Lynette, Rachel, Nat, Debbie, Julia, Audrey, Mr Quake & Mr Azhaari.

Cut my hair today at Kimage, finally a place with decent service. Problem is, while this hairstyle is fine, its not exactly what I wanted, and I feel that it doesn't really suit me. Now I'm left with mixed feelings about my hair again.

Cher's coming back tmr, B's coming back next Thurs :)

week tired.

2010-12-19T05:48:00.000-08:00

Dog Days Are Over - Florence + The Machine

Rolling In The Deep - Adele

Thank god for artists who can actually sing. Makes you wanna snap your fingers and shake your hips or just spin round and round. Didn't go to work today, was sick so I was pretty much bedridden the entire day. I missed KC's water baptism at the church opposite my house, shows how sick I was. I didn't get to call the office to tell them though.

My sister found out and was like, you should have told them. I told her that my manager could tell from the day before that I was sick, and she was like, "oh so you're legit sick?!"

Tis the season to be jolly, and that I plan to be. This week is gonna be a week of celebrations, holidays and birthdays alike, and may all the debauchery to come wash away my sorrows and stress. God knows how much the world weights on my shoulders, no wonder I'm vertically challenged.

2010-12-16T11:51:00.000-08:00

my blog has had three hits from india,

all within 24 hours.

is that you bhavana? :P

hummingbird heartbeat.

2010-12-16T11:17:00.000-08:00

One step and immediately you're out of the crowd. You know the steps in your head, but you just have this nagging feeling that you'll mess up. Legs start to shake, and you feel this huge gaping black hole in your chest. There's no other way to describe it, and you've forgotten how to breathe. Then the cue comes, and you feel your spirit soar.

People like Lindsay Lohan don't take drugs because they're crazy, they've just lost that high every performer gets. You feel yourself go crazy, off the ritcher scale just before you step on stage. It feels almost crippling, but once the floodlights hit you, its almost euphoric.

Matt once said we were high on performing. And that's exactly what it is. A drug.

Its highly infectious and addictive. Its the greatest high you can ever get.

Its just so sad that so many don't get to experience it because they don't have the balls to get past the initial fear and take to the stage. But I'm not most people.

Which is why I am gonna continue dancing, all the way through the fag-calling and non-existant tights. It gives me the hummingbird heartbeat, spreads my wings and makes me fly.

2010-12-14T04:24:00.001-08:00

How do you expect people to do anything with you barking orders at them every single second? Its not the first time I've fried noodles, or walked in the door, used the washroom. You don't have to keep barking at me about the stove, or to lock the door, or to remember to "alternate between cold and hot water" because she thinks that I'm spoiling the mirror when all thats happening is it fogging up.

Its also not the first time people have tried to reason with you, telling you that your constant annotations and comments are not needed. Yet you say that it helps us, teaches us, when in fact we don't need to be taught. We've told you time and time again that we are older, we don't need to be taught such neanderthal-like instructions, and you say that it makes you feel better telling us what to do cause it reassures you that its being done properly.

I'm expected to keep my cool around someone like you? Just because you're ancient doesn't mean you should get a free pass from all the damage and ridiculous destruction you've caused, like accusing a blind person of stealing your things.

I would rather starve, not bathe, and possibly not even come back then listen to your incessant annoying and quite frankly, unnecessary commentary.

(the only reason why I'm blogging this is because I can't complain to her face. As of this very moment, I'm still smiling at her watching the telly.)

motherboard.

2010-12-13T06:39:00.000-08:00

Woke up today to my granny in my face, screaming, wake up ahh, im going out!! handle your own lunch okay?

So immediately, I arranged for lunch at Hoagies with Ben, Shawn and KC. The day continued with awesome moments, like shitting bricks in a cab on the way to Sim Lim, Shawn saying he's broke when he spent one thousand on computer stuff within half an hour, and Crystal Jade dinner at Woodlands.

Now, they're playing DOTA here at Ben's place while I surf the net cause I'm terribly bored of that game. It sucks when you keep dying. I'm now wondering what to do, buy clothes, or a ton of electronics from Sim Lim.

Working tomorrow again, not sure what time though. Time to work OT and earn a million bucks.

2010-12-12T05:42:00.000-08:00

So today was a good break from work. I've got two days off, which I really thank god for considering the hours I've been working. Today I woke up at 3pm, with a bunch of chocolates waiting for me on the dining table. Apparently my mom dropped them off, so I ate them then came out for dinner with Ben and Jeremy.

Listening to those two talk about camera equipment makes me miss my photography days at Straits Times. ChildAid is coming up but Phyllis kinda told me politely that I'm not invited, and quite frankly I think she's the only incrowder going which is a bit sad. I'm still wondering what to do with my salary, buy a new camera for my trip overseas, or actually buy new clothes overseas. To buy, or to buy other things.

I think this is the most depressing holiday I've had, because I'm in a transition, and its not exactly smooth. This blog has been kinda emo these days, but that's only because I haven't had a lot of happy times. Work is great, I've made new friends, but its tiring.

I need to Boogie 2nite.

2010-12-12T00:57:00.001-08:00

A few nights ago I worked at a Dinner and Dance, and at the end, they blasted awesome music, dimmed the lights, and boogied down on the dance floor. I loved the DJ, the music was awesome. I can't wait for my turn to party and club, I honestly need to let loose and destress. I was already sashaying down the tables while clearing, and had to control myself lest there be dancing in the back area.

Besides the malays and indians who were failing at Tektonik (or however you spell that shit), the rest were all really having a good time. Some ang mohs were grinding :O

And yesterday I helped at a wedding. Singaporeans really love their alcohol. Memorable moments? Getting hit on by a rich three year old girl. Woahhhhhh pedo much?

Its awkward seeing so many well-dressed Singaporeans, cause getting dressed up in this weather is already such a stretch. I honestly can't wait for my turn. Christmas and New Years, here I come.